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Guys that could stand to gain some weight:

Manute Bol

Sean Bradley

This Guy

Ryan Conley

We recently saw Ryan. Whoa! He is no longer the Ryan whose elbow would stick you like a knife playing basketball. No longer will he be tormented about slipping down the drain while showering. “Hey stick man!” Nope. If there was a game show called “Biggest Winner”, he would win hands down. This is a fuller, more robust, better vintage year Ryan Conley. He finally has put some meat on those bones and he is looking good doing it. In light of this successful weight gain, my service to Ryan is dedicated to food.

I volunteered for a food drive for the church. This is the truck I drove:

We went to various shopping centers and collected food that would have been thrown away. Trader Joes was the big winner of the day. I believe we collected 190 pounds from them which is significant because I think that is what Ryan weighs now.

This is me posing with Krispy Kreme donuts. These got lost in shipment, not sure how.

As I thought about food, I thought, “how else can I collect food for others.” And then I thought of a great place to collect additional food. I decided to clean Mitzi’s car out for her.

Those of you with no children will not understand what this has to do with food. Those with children know that there is a full Las Vegas buffet to be found between seats, on the floor, in seats, stuck to the roof, in the glove box and essentially in any nook or cranny in the car. This is me about to eat a bowl of cherios that I collected from between seats.

Ryan, Mitzi thanks you for a clean car.

Lastly, in Ryan’s name, I donated to one of my favorite charities, Heifer International. They purchase livestock to give to the needy in third world countries. They send cows, goats, chickens, etc., so that the people have an ongoing food source and a money source. Several years ago, I donated a cow’s butt in Ed’s name. You can buy the whole cow but that is kind of pricey. We can now add Ryan to the many proud owners of cow’s butts world wide.

Ryan, I admire you. I think you are a great husband and father. I am grateful I had the opportunity to do this service and congratulate you on your recent weight gain.