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Saturday, December 25, 2010

To: Char, From: Mike

Sassafras. Even the name is delicious. Sassafras. Just say it over and over. Sounds like Jazz. Dig that sassafras. Take the root and make nectar of the gods. Root beer, beautiful liquid sweetness. Love it.

Many of you are now asking, where is he going with this? Can’t a guy just state his passion for a particular libation without being judged? Well, you are on to me now. Isn’t it obvious?

Ok, so it isn’t so obvious. A few years ago, my sister-in-law, in order to live a healthier lifestyle, gave up a few of her favorite things and we are not talking about raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens. She had to give up some of her favorite foods.

As I thought about Char, I thought how difficult this must have been and I thought, what could I do that could at all relate to this. Thus my ode to Root beer. I gave up one of my favorite things as a sort of Lent-like sacrifice for the month of November.

It was a trial, my own Mount Everest, but I conquered. Six times that month, we had pizza for dinner. Pizza without Root beer? Are you kidding me? Sonny without Cher? Simon without Garfunkel? U2 without Bono.

Twice that month I had the opportunity to take advantage of some home-made Root beer. Twice, I stood up to the temptation. Three times, while eating out, I had the opportunity to push that silver lever dangling from the Root beer nozzle. Three times I opted for a mix of lemonade and sprite. Grueling? Yes. Worth it? Every penny.

And thus comes the service. I made a sort of root beer fast offering. Any money I saved by not spending it on Root beer went to the Ronald McDonald house, a favorite charity of Char’s. Ok, so I am not quite that cheap, it was a generous offering.

Our Stake here in Cary holds an annual Crèche exhibit. It is very well attended by the community and a nice missionary opportunity. Here is the thing, personality wise, I am blue, very blue (or whatever color that is not social) (Editorial note... he means white).

Char, she is as yellow as the sun. So when the Stake calls for volunteers to help host, well Char is kind of like Monica, she would make a great host. Me? Not so much. But the service guilt kicked in and Crèche host I was. Several years ago, we had the opportunity to host (hey look at that, I have hosted before) Char and Bill and their children in our home in Las Vegas. I saw something special that I have not forgotten. And when I drew Char’s name, I thought about what I saw several years ago.

Each night I was amazed at the routine they had to go through to put Cole to bed. Each night, I was impressed by the patience, love and tenderness they manifested when feeding Cole and giving him his meds.

Recently, I have not been patient with my own children. It is sometimes difficult after a long day at work to put aside my own comforts and make sure my children get the father time they need and deserve. I rush them to brush their teeth, I rush them to get into their pajamas, I occasionally get angry with them when their timeline does not mesh with mine.

I am so grateful I drew Char’s name. Thinking about the way she was with her children several years ago gave me perspective that I was lacking. Over the last two months, I committed to serve my children. I committed to be more patient, more loving, to give them the time that they need. For me personally, it has made a big difference. I am a better father because of Char and Bill’s example and because of this opportunity to think about serving others.

A couple of weeks ago, the Elders Quorum sent out a notice for a service opportunity with the Town of Cary cleaning up a park. I thought I could ignore it. I thought the nagging feeling would go away. But then Char appears in my head like the ghost of Jacob Marley and rattling her chains says “Goooo, dooo service.” So I went. I am no longer haunted.

Merry Christmas.

To: Mom, From: Mitzi

Mom,

As you know, I have always been your baby-hungry child.

When you wrote the post on your blog about the African Maternity hospital, it really hit me.

I thought of a few different ideas of what I could do. I almost did my own little KAM group for the season. But the post about the Maternity ward kept nagging at me. So I wrote a letter to some ladies in my ward:

Hello Ladies,

I am writing because I need some help . Last year our family started a new tradition. With funds being tight for many of my family members, we decided to try something that didn't cost money. We each drew a name and we did service in the name of that person. I started a blog (feel free to click on the link and see what I am talking about) that we all posted our service projects on. So on Christmas morning, we woke up and got to read about all the service that was done on behalf of everyone else. It was such an amazing experience that we decided to make it a tradition. This year I have my mother. She is currently serving a mission in the
Republic of Congo in Africa with my father.

As the Sr. Missionary couple in the area, my mom is in charge of finding service projects for the elders to do. One of the service projects that she set up was at the Maternity hospital. She mentioned that they usually take their babies home in a pillow case or towel (only hours after giving birth) b/c they don't have blankets. Most of these babies will sleep in a cardboard box in a one room house. She mentioned the need for receiving blankets. (feel free to read the details of their service in the links provided above.)

So this is where you come into the picture...

I thought it would be great for my service in behalf of my mother to make a few blankets myself to send. But I thought it would be even better if I could get some women together to make more then a few to send. I will be having 2 receiving blanket making parties. The first will be on Tuesday, December 21st from
9:30-3:30. The second will be a date in January for those of you that would love to help and serve but if this time of year is just too darn crazy! Children are welcome to come and play with my 2 girls while we sew and cut. If you don't know how to sew, don't be scared, there will be cutting and other things to do. I will have some munchies so we don't starve. If you have a sewing machine or serger, please bring it with you. If you have any flannel that you would like to donate, I would be more then happy to come and pick it up from you.

So...let me know if you are interested. I would love any and all help . I am not expecting people to come the whole time so feel free to pop in and out as needed.

Thanks so much,
Mitzi McBride


That was the email that I sent out to my ward Google group list. I am happy to say that I had 6 ladies show up to help me out. I had others that donated gently used blankets and some that donated fabric for the blankets. On our first work day, we made 31 blankets and received donations of another 9 that were gently used.

So, I have 40 blankets that are ready to ship.

Now in addition to the 40 blankets that I collected from my ward, Ashley gave me 2 that she sewed about a month or two ago. As you know, Pam put together a Bodell sewing day. Between the ones they made and the ones made by Tiffany, Hock and Katherine Kenny that were given to Pam to ship, she has an additional 50 blankets to ship.


For a grand total of
90 Blankets
for the African Maternity hospital!!

Mom and dad, we love you so much and we are so grateful for the example you are setting for us all. I am grateful for this opportunity we have created for ourselves to feel the true meaning of Christmas. I love you all!

Love, Mitzi

Friday, December 24, 2010

This one's for Africa... well... and the dead

To my favorite dad (and Anne Marta Erikstadder, Ellen Perrott, and dozens of others)-

When I was a kid, I remember overhearing mom talk to people about dad working at the temple. I remember noticing the pride she exuded when talking about how early he woke up every week to go and serve in the temple.

I remember taking on a similar pride as a friend asked why my dad was all dressed up and I proudly responded what I had overheard my mom say many times, "He works at our temple. He is a 'bell' worker" to which she responded "So he like rings the bells at your church?" I paused thinking of images of Quazimoto ringing bells in a high tower, I've actually never seen bells at the temple, and I'm kind of surprised that my not-so-musical dad received a call to serve ringing bells. I was stumped, not knowing what really went on in the temple besides weddings.

So I went to mom later that week to ask what exactly dad did in the temple. She responded with, "He is a veil worker". Oh, goodness... I felt like a MORON! How was I going to tell my friend I was wrong? A VEIL worker- not a BELL worker! Now I totally got it! So I went back to my friend and said, "Hey, I'm a nerd, I'm so embarrassed. He doesn't ring the bells! I was WAY wrong! He is the one that lifts the brides' veil after the ceremony is done and before they kiss their husbands" ... true story :)

I then remember thinking, "Wow, Dad wakes up REALLY early, and goes a LOT just to do that! He must care a LOT about that for some reason." As I grew older I learned more and more about what dad was really doing and it had such a deeper meaning knowing how much it meant to dad. To know the time, sleep, and other things he was sacrificing to go and serve and make special ordinances possible for those living and those who had passed on.

While visiting Ghana as a young adult, I saw that passion and love of temple work in a similar way. I met Saints and heard stories of those who had wanted for decades to receive these special ordinances, and do them for others and were so excited when the Ghana temple was finally finished. It breaks my heart hearing about the Saints in the Congo who want so much to attend the temple but can't due to long distance and monetary needs.

I know this might sound crazy, but a little piece of me has always felt comfort knowing that dad was going to the temple EVERY month. Sometimes I would sit in a close to empty temple session and think the words that we have heard mom (as well as the man himself:) repeat many times, "They broke the mold after they made Eddie". It recently donned on me that Dad and mom weren't going every week or month any more to the temple. A part of me felt like the entire numbers of temple work had decreased because of this great loss.

So, slowly my service for dad came to light. I decided to step in and help fill that void of temple attendance as much as I could. I was going to attend the temple every week for a month (some of you may already do this, but I am sad to say I was not).

Now, going to the temple one night a week did not seem like a service, but instead something I really would love to do and would not be at all difficult... so how could I make it a little more "Eddie" like that would be a little more out of my comfort zone. And then it came to me...
Yep! If I was going to truly fill dad's vacancy in the temple, I would have to do it on Eddie time. So, each week I would wake up early to make sure I was in the first session. This way it was not only doing it Eddie style, but it was also not causing any inconvenience for anyone else by having Houston have to go to a babysitter. Instead I would make it home before, or close to, him waking up. That first 4:15 a.m. really started to feel like a service, but I never felt burdened because I knew that dad had done it weekly for so long and had worked much harder days before and after than I ever have!

Each week it would brighten my spirits (and awaken my tired eyes) as I pulled off the freeway and found not only the gorgeous temple, but the Christmas spirit as well.
So dad, in honor of you, I upped my temple attendance and served Anne Marta Erikstadder (1812), Ellen Perrott (1836), and dozens of others via baptisms, initiatories, and sealings.
The last morning I went, I did sealings. It was just me and 5 cute old men temple workers. They were very grateful and a jolly bunch. They kept telling me how grateful they were that I was there, but I couldn't help thinking the same about them knowing what they, and their family members, go through to make it there early each week. It made me wonder what you must have done for those many hours in the temple and the people who were grateful for you that maybe never had a chance to voice it. It was a wonderful and extremely enjoyable service.

The only regret I have is that we all know... it's not a big secret... Lani likes her sleep! and maybe doesn't function on all cylinders when I don't have as much sleep. So... the last day I went was this past Thursday. Upon coming home, it was the first time that Michael and Houston had been up for a while and Michael noticed how pregnant I looked. We joked about it for a bit and went on with our day. A few hours later I happened to notice that Mom and Dad logged onto Skype. So I gave them a little ring. In our short 8 minute conversation, somehow it went from talking about being flexible to... WOOOPS... the gender of the baby slipped out and it took seconds to realize why dad was giving me THE SCOWL! "I knew I shouldn't have answered this call!" he exclaimed! I felt SO BAD! I had done so well for so long! So now I guess Chuck and Ashley are the only people who don't know... which I hear is ironic seeing as how Chuck hasn't done real well in the secret keeping department lately (Just teasing Chuck- OBVIOUSLY I am not one to talk)! So dad, I am so sorry I spilled the beans, my mind was running on very little sleep!

Dad, Merry Christmas! Thank you so much for your wonderful example of service and love of the Gospel. Tonight we sat around reading the Christmas story and singing Carols. I looked out the window and found myself thinking of the many times I had done this Christmas Eve tradition, then thinking about how many people were doing similar in the community, then US, then living rooms- big or small- around the world. Within seconds my mind pictured you and mom, sitting in your humble African home, reading the Christmas story and singing the carols together. Tears filled my eyes and heart as I realized just how much I missed you! I do not think I missed you that much in my entire mission, as I hope you do not miss us on yours because you are so busy. We are all so proud of you both! I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent me to your house to learn of Him and His Son. I truly have been born of goodly parents. I am so grateful to you daddy!

I love you! Love, Lani

Now the only question is, when does your veil worker calling fit into the timeline of things... I suppose it was after you became righteous, eh?

Merry Christmas Ryan Love Hock

This year I did service in honor of Ryan. I was excited to receive Ryan as my service recipient because he and I have grown quite close over the years starting with when we spent a lot of time together while we were finishing school in Utah.
I was also a little stressed about having Ryan because he had done such a great service project for Lani last year, and because his list of suggestions included go on a young men's camp out, chaperon a youth dance, or do service at someone's house. I felt like the volunteering at a youth camp out was a bit of a cop out because I had already done that this last year as part of my calling, and didn't feel like that was going to be enough of a challenge. I liked the idea of doing some work around my parents house but I had already planned to do some things around their house as part of my rent for living with them. I finally came up with a plan for how I could help my parents around the house that was not just part of what I had already planned to do.

I decided for my service project I was going to completely clean and organize my parents attic and garage. I knew this was a major project because my parents garage and attic has 30 years worth of accumulated treasures, but I thought if I put in some serious time that I would be able to get it cleaned and organized by Christmas.

After spending some time out there on my own, and after discovering some real gems like this classy wolf jacket and those awesome glasses (see below), I realized that this project was going to require about the same number of man hours as an Eagle Scout project. The problem was that I couldn't, as much as I wanted to, just throw EVERYthing away. I tried and found it was not "helping" in my mom's opinion. I decided that in order to complete the service by Christmas, without being kicked out of my current residence, a more realistic goal was to build shelves for my parents attic to store loose items that don't stack well, like sleeping bags and camping gear. I also wanted to make a dent in the garage and take some of the things that I knew my parents wanted to get rid of to D.I. I called my friend Josh to see if we could use his truck to make a D.I. run and then head up to Home Depot to buy some lumber for the shelves.

We then used my Dad's table saw and cut the lumber down to size and began assembling. Some of the assembling needed to be done in the attic because the shelves were too big to fit through the small attic door opening. What a treat on the back!I am proud to say the shelves are done and have made a big difference. My mom was grateful each milestone we made and each path that was cleared (above top left- mom and I dancing to celebrate that we COULD... IN THE now cleaner garage). I am still planning on helping them finish cleaning/organizing their garage and hopefully we will finish before the end of January.
I really enjoyed this project, I thought about Ryan a lot while working on it, and I also thought about what tough work Ed, Wayne, and Bill do daily as I was cutting lumber and working with my hands. It made me feel like I was one of the contractors of the family!

Merry Christmas Ryan! You are a great brother-in-law and friend. I love you a lot.

Gates Season of Service - Year #2

After a wonderfully successful and spiritual time in 2009, the family of Ed and Kriss Gates are continuing their new family tradition of eschewing the practice of exchanging gifts for performing service for or on behalf of each other.

Traditionally, the six Gates children and their spouses exchanged gifts every Christmas. In 2009, with families spread across five state throughout the country, we decided our tradition was too costly and difficult. Amy Dittbrenner, the second Gates child, suggested that instead of the commercialized practice of buying small gifts only to pay high shipping costs, we each perform acts of service in the name of the sibling whose name we were assigned at random.

Just like last year, our good friend Carrie Collins drew the names and notified each of us privately to keep secret who was doing good in your name. On Christmas Day, we will all reveal who we had and how we chose to celebrate the new tradition of the Gates Family Season of Service.

This tradition has helped us focus on serving our communities and one another during the annual celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

The 2010 Gates Family Season of Service