What has happened in Tiffany's life this year? New baby, new house, husband works crazy hours, her family has slowly moved farther away.
I wish that I could have lived close to you this last year Tiffany. I would have watched Brooklyn while you packed to move or went to doctor's appointments. I would have brought you food when you were tired and 8 months pregnant. I would have hung out at the park with you to chat. Since I could not do those things for you, I found someone close by me that I could serve and help through some of those transitions in life.
I found a friend here in VA who was going through some of the same changes this year. She has moved twice in the last few months, has a 2 1/2 year old, and just had a new baby this month.
When she first moved into the ward earlier this year, I invited her to outings and befriended her... giving advice on preschools and home buying. I had her son over for a play date with Charly, while she moved the first time to their temporary home while they continued the home buying search. Her little boy even has soft curls just like Brooklyn. I was supposed to watch her son the day they closed on their house, but it was rescheduled and then I was unavailable for the new closing date.
So many people think to bring women food right after having a baby, but I like to take food when they are 8 or 9 months pregnant. Near the end of pregnancy, you are so tired and just burnt out. It would be nice to not have to cook. So, I took this friend a meal one night making 2 dishes from that cookbook you gave me when you were in Richmond.
Every time I would serve my friend, or even see her, I would think of Tiffany and how much I wish we could live closer together. One day, when we don't have the entire United States between us, I will bring you dinner when you are feeling worn out or plan play dates with Brooklyn so you can run errands. But for now I will serve those young mothers around me and swap parenting tips with you via Facebook.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
The Feeding of the 100... well... kind of
Do you have any idea how hard it is to do this kind of service when you live right next to the person and speak daily and know 99.99% of what is going on in their life? Let me tell you... it is no walk in the park! My favorite are the Mitzi quotes over the last 6 months...
One thing that is not a secret is that out of the many heroes in my life, one of the greatest is my older Sister Mitzi. From a young age she took me under her wing and let me be her shadow. I wanted to do every thing with her, like her, and because of her.
I remember as Mitzi got older and realized there were other friends out there, I starting to miss hanging out with her. Mom took me to the store to get her a birthday gift. I had a certain amount of money and knew immediately what i wanted to get upon walking down the aisle... A BARBIE BATH! Of course Mitzi was getting too old to play Barbie's, but I thought if I gave her such a COOL Barbie accessory... who could pass that up! She would have to come back to the good ol' days with her and I in Barbie land!
Well, the birthday cake was cut and Mitzi opened presents. When she finally opened mine, I was very excited! But to a "too mature" Mitzi, she was not nearly as excited. I'm not sure if she rolled her eyes, or maybe I even heard mom whisper to Mit that she would take it back the next day, but I remember thinking my plan did not work! I quickly decided if Mitzi was too mature for Barbies... I WAS too mature for Barbie's too! It didn't matter how much I liked them, I wanted to be like Mitzi more!
Mitzi eventually moved out and started a life in the real world. My mom often says that is when I blossomed which makes me laugh because I just think, "the house was so quiet once Mit left, I had to do SOMEthing." :)
We have both grown up and gone our separate ways, but this year we were able to find our paths back to each other again. It made me very nervous and worried not knowing how my inner-little-Lani would handle being known as Mitzi's little sister again. I spent years trying to find my own self instead of hiding behind her that I just didn't know how it would work.
Let me be clear that being Mitzi's sister is a wonderful gift, it is just too easy to hide behind Mitzi because she is so amazing. I was worried that I would become lax, I guess, and not feel that I had to "fill the quiet in the house" anymore since Mitzi would be around. Sorry if this doesn't make sense... one of these years I'll get this written before 1 a.m. on Christmas Eve. :)
Our first week in NC, while looking for a place of our own, Mitzi and Mike offered to have us stay with them. The first few days were a blur. I felt like there was a constant flow of children of all ages, genders, and colors and occasionally a parent or two.
As children would cycle through the McBride house, somehow food just kept appearing on little plates with names on it. I wish I would have counted the Mac & Cheese, Juice Boxes, chicken nuggets, pizza slices or something in the first few days. At some point Mitzi tried to explain that it was not always like that, but it was due to Spring Break so all the kids were out of school. But that still didn't explain the strangers and lack of other parents!
A piece of me kept thinking, "Hey people! I just want my sister all to myself for one HOUR so we can have one decent quiet meal!" But then I would quickly remember that is not Mitzi's way. I could tell that Mitzi probably just wanted to sit down, relax and have a nice meal with us too, but that is not Mitz. If there are people that want friends and food, then her house is the place to be.
Soon after we moved out on our own, I was trying to think what I could do for a service for Mitzi for Christmas. I had recently reviewed the story of the feeding of the 5,000. I kept seeing parallels in my lifestyle and Mitzi's in this story. Here is the Lani version of Mark 6.
Mark 6:30-32 talks about the apostles having an intense time preaching the Gospel along side of Christ. They are exhausted and Christ says they can go rest and finally get some food because they have been so busy preaching they haven't eaten. Verse 33 as they are headed their separate ways to rest and eat, people recognize Christ and follow him. Although not as close to Christ as the Apostles, the multitudes of people feel like they are because they have been so welcomed by Christ.
In verses 35-36 it seemed to me the apostles said "It is getting late, we are hungry, when can we send all these other random people home?" But that was not the Lord's way. Instead he said, "How many loaves have we?" and began feeding the food for the apostles to the multitudes. I do not mean to make light of this special story, but simply to apply it to my life.
Although sometimes I just want to relax with my own sweet sister, and sometimes we are about to do just that, if some random stranger comes along, no matter how tired she is, SHE WILL WELCOME them... AND FEED THEM and hang out with them and put our plans on hold! It is a special gift and I love her for it.
I decided as my service, I was going to try to have a Mitzi-esque outlook on feeding others. My goal was the feeding of the 100. Any time I knew someone in the ward that was struggling or having a bad week I would make them dinner, and usually not just any dinner... but a MITZI recipe! You know... a FAAAAANNNNNCCCCYYYY one! We are not just talking my usuals! Even if that meant doing things with raw chicken that I usually like to avoid!
I think I perfected her chicken pasta recipe through this service! Note: There were some nights I was in a hurry and went to my go to meals. (Yes Amy... your taco stew is pictured below in that big pot!)
I enjoyed the time that I had to cook and think of my big sister and her many hours in the kitchen serving others. My feet would be tired, my back would ache, and then I would still have to go deliver. But somehow all those things left my mind as soon as I saw the faces of the extremely grateful mothers and families of our ward. I received a few thank you cards that really should go to you as well as the many verbal thanks of many including the Hopkinsons, the Hubbards, the Wallaces, the Abhaus, the Gatlins, and a few others here and there.
In addition for signing up every chance I got through the Relief Society, for many weeks when it was my night for dinner swap, I would find at least one other family in need. It became this wonderful challenge to think of someone in the ward that could maybe just use a break. This weekly reminder to serve was wonderful for me!
The 100 was getting hard to meet by the deadline, so although I would have done these things anyways, maybe we can count hosting your Surprise Farewell party (really surprise since you thought we were celebrating a MISSION FAREWELL when you saw the sign!) and White Elephant Party.
I had planned to go finish the 100 with Mike at the Food Bank since I knew he was a "foodie service" too but a last minute trip to UT changed our plans. Maybe we can all go for a date night now! But in so doing I'm afraid I ruined the surprise! Because the Canadian throughout a "Hey Lan, help Mitzi with the groceries... it can be your food service!" DOH!
Note to self: Specifically clarify with Mike when things are secrets from his wife! Well, she played along and did not act like she knew anything.
And of course it was always fun when I would be in the middle of kitchen disaster feeding 60 people (including our families though) and I see that silver van pull up in my drive way!
And then... because it is Mitzi... she can't NOT help! So above is Mitzi doing her OWN Christmas Service one night with me because how could she NOT chop peppers when she saw what I was doing. The picture with us two is really me saying, "No, I'm REALLY ok! You can leave now so I can get back to serving you!"
Big sister, I love you SO MUCH! I am SO GLAD Heavenly Father blessed me to be your little sister. I would not be the woman, mother, or sister I am today without you as a constant example. I am SO grateful to have been blessed with such a wonderful example of charity and love. I often wonder how did I get so lucky to be blessed with such a great big sister that is not only a best friend, but an amazing example of who I want to be when I grow up... and always has. I love you and am SO GLAD I live so close to you! I can't wait for many more memories in the future!
Love, Lan-Bon
"So you don't HAVE to tell me but if you want to, we could help each other with our service gifts!"argh! But... I was determined to come up with SOMEthing and try my best to keep it a secret.
"So you don't have to tell me, but do you have one of the Dittbrenners, Gates', or Conleys?"
"I'm wondering what to do for my person... do you know what you are doing yet?"
One thing that is not a secret is that out of the many heroes in my life, one of the greatest is my older Sister Mitzi. From a young age she took me under her wing and let me be her shadow. I wanted to do every thing with her, like her, and because of her.
I remember as Mitzi got older and realized there were other friends out there, I starting to miss hanging out with her. Mom took me to the store to get her a birthday gift. I had a certain amount of money and knew immediately what i wanted to get upon walking down the aisle... A BARBIE BATH! Of course Mitzi was getting too old to play Barbie's, but I thought if I gave her such a COOL Barbie accessory... who could pass that up! She would have to come back to the good ol' days with her and I in Barbie land!
Well, the birthday cake was cut and Mitzi opened presents. When she finally opened mine, I was very excited! But to a "too mature" Mitzi, she was not nearly as excited. I'm not sure if she rolled her eyes, or maybe I even heard mom whisper to Mit that she would take it back the next day, but I remember thinking my plan did not work! I quickly decided if Mitzi was too mature for Barbies... I WAS too mature for Barbie's too! It didn't matter how much I liked them, I wanted to be like Mitzi more!
Mitzi eventually moved out and started a life in the real world. My mom often says that is when I blossomed which makes me laugh because I just think, "the house was so quiet once Mit left, I had to do SOMEthing." :)
We have both grown up and gone our separate ways, but this year we were able to find our paths back to each other again. It made me very nervous and worried not knowing how my inner-little-Lani would handle being known as Mitzi's little sister again. I spent years trying to find my own self instead of hiding behind her that I just didn't know how it would work.
Let me be clear that being Mitzi's sister is a wonderful gift, it is just too easy to hide behind Mitzi because she is so amazing. I was worried that I would become lax, I guess, and not feel that I had to "fill the quiet in the house" anymore since Mitzi would be around. Sorry if this doesn't make sense... one of these years I'll get this written before 1 a.m. on Christmas Eve. :)
Our first week in NC, while looking for a place of our own, Mitzi and Mike offered to have us stay with them. The first few days were a blur. I felt like there was a constant flow of children of all ages, genders, and colors and occasionally a parent or two.
As children would cycle through the McBride house, somehow food just kept appearing on little plates with names on it. I wish I would have counted the Mac & Cheese, Juice Boxes, chicken nuggets, pizza slices or something in the first few days. At some point Mitzi tried to explain that it was not always like that, but it was due to Spring Break so all the kids were out of school. But that still didn't explain the strangers and lack of other parents!
A piece of me kept thinking, "Hey people! I just want my sister all to myself for one HOUR so we can have one decent quiet meal!" But then I would quickly remember that is not Mitzi's way. I could tell that Mitzi probably just wanted to sit down, relax and have a nice meal with us too, but that is not Mitz. If there are people that want friends and food, then her house is the place to be.
Soon after we moved out on our own, I was trying to think what I could do for a service for Mitzi for Christmas. I had recently reviewed the story of the feeding of the 5,000. I kept seeing parallels in my lifestyle and Mitzi's in this story. Here is the Lani version of Mark 6.
Mark 6:30-32 talks about the apostles having an intense time preaching the Gospel along side of Christ. They are exhausted and Christ says they can go rest and finally get some food because they have been so busy preaching they haven't eaten. Verse 33 as they are headed their separate ways to rest and eat, people recognize Christ and follow him. Although not as close to Christ as the Apostles, the multitudes of people feel like they are because they have been so welcomed by Christ.
In verses 35-36 it seemed to me the apostles said "It is getting late, we are hungry, when can we send all these other random people home?" But that was not the Lord's way. Instead he said, "How many loaves have we?" and began feeding the food for the apostles to the multitudes. I do not mean to make light of this special story, but simply to apply it to my life.
Although sometimes I just want to relax with my own sweet sister, and sometimes we are about to do just that, if some random stranger comes along, no matter how tired she is, SHE WILL WELCOME them... AND FEED THEM and hang out with them and put our plans on hold! It is a special gift and I love her for it.
I decided as my service, I was going to try to have a Mitzi-esque outlook on feeding others. My goal was the feeding of the 100. Any time I knew someone in the ward that was struggling or having a bad week I would make them dinner, and usually not just any dinner... but a MITZI recipe! You know... a FAAAAANNNNNCCCCYYYY one! We are not just talking my usuals! Even if that meant doing things with raw chicken that I usually like to avoid!
I think I perfected her chicken pasta recipe through this service! Note: There were some nights I was in a hurry and went to my go to meals. (Yes Amy... your taco stew is pictured below in that big pot!)
I enjoyed the time that I had to cook and think of my big sister and her many hours in the kitchen serving others. My feet would be tired, my back would ache, and then I would still have to go deliver. But somehow all those things left my mind as soon as I saw the faces of the extremely grateful mothers and families of our ward. I received a few thank you cards that really should go to you as well as the many verbal thanks of many including the Hopkinsons, the Hubbards, the Wallaces, the Abhaus, the Gatlins, and a few others here and there.In addition for signing up every chance I got through the Relief Society, for many weeks when it was my night for dinner swap, I would find at least one other family in need. It became this wonderful challenge to think of someone in the ward that could maybe just use a break. This weekly reminder to serve was wonderful for me!
The 100 was getting hard to meet by the deadline, so although I would have done these things anyways, maybe we can count hosting your Surprise Farewell party (really surprise since you thought we were celebrating a MISSION FAREWELL when you saw the sign!) and White Elephant Party.
I had planned to go finish the 100 with Mike at the Food Bank since I knew he was a "foodie service" too but a last minute trip to UT changed our plans. Maybe we can all go for a date night now! But in so doing I'm afraid I ruined the surprise! Because the Canadian throughout a "Hey Lan, help Mitzi with the groceries... it can be your food service!" DOH!Note to self: Specifically clarify with Mike when things are secrets from his wife! Well, she played along and did not act like she knew anything.
And of course it was always fun when I would be in the middle of kitchen disaster feeding 60 people (including our families though) and I see that silver van pull up in my drive way!
And then... because it is Mitzi... she can't NOT help! So above is Mitzi doing her OWN Christmas Service one night with me because how could she NOT chop peppers when she saw what I was doing. The picture with us two is really me saying, "No, I'm REALLY ok! You can leave now so I can get back to serving you!"Big sister, I love you SO MUCH! I am SO GLAD Heavenly Father blessed me to be your little sister. I would not be the woman, mother, or sister I am today without you as a constant example. I am SO grateful to have been blessed with such a wonderful example of charity and love. I often wonder how did I get so lucky to be blessed with such a great big sister that is not only a best friend, but an amazing example of who I want to be when I grow up... and always has. I love you and am SO GLAD I live so close to you! I can't wait for many more memories in the future!
Love, Lan-Bon
WWAD?
For Christmas this year, I had Ashley. Now this may sound like a silly "service." It was definately one that I benifited from more then anyone else. I looked at the things in Ashley's life that make me think "wow! She is amazing! And I went from there. I decided that through the year, I would think "What Would Ashley Do?"
First of all, Ashley is is an incredible wife. She is so patient with her husband. My brother Chuck is an amazing person with many wonderful qualities but sometimes we communicate differently. Ashley has mastered communication with love techniques. I decided to look at him through her eyes and try to better understand him throughout the year. I have really enjoyed the past year's visits with him.
During a particularlly difficult week in Utah, I was so grateful that he was there with me; it was so reassuring to have his shoulder to lean (and cry) on. But as with all big families, sometimes we all communicate in different ways, and misunderstandings might happen. This year, when a misunderstanding occured, I found myself thinking of my sweet sister Ashley, and I would ask myself, "WWAD?"
During a particularlly difficult week in Utah, I was so grateful that he was there with me; it was so reassuring to have his shoulder to lean (and cry) on. But as with all big families, sometimes we all communicate in different ways, and misunderstandings might happen. This year, when a misunderstanding occured, I found myself thinking of my sweet sister Ashley, and I would ask myself, "WWAD?"
I looked at the things that make her who she is. I looked at the trials she has had in her life to make her a stronger person. In Ashely's job, she brings healthy food to lots of people. I decided to emulate this and help at the Bishop's store house. I filled many orders for people in need that day.
In March, Lani and I had babies. I found myself saying "wwad?". So I made a moby wrap for Cora, and at the same time, I made one for baby Hadley. BTW, Lani the money for that moby wrap that you gave me, was put back on the IOU list to give back to you.
Now, perhaps my most Ashley moment of the year was in the recruitment of our two sisters. This one may have been purely selfish, but in discussions with each of them, I was very Ashleyesque. And it worked!
In August, they started asking for vounteers to work doing laundry in the temple. I thought, now that could be rewarding! And that is something I could totally see Ashley doing with her sisters. So Lani and I looked into it. We started in September with Char. It was so fun!
On another note, I want to talk about the amazing service that I witnessed: When David passed away, it was so amazing to watch my brothers and sisters rally around and all work together so selflessly. I could see the attributes we have learned from this tradition being used all around me. I saw plane tickets donated to people in need. I saw someone watching 5 kids under the age of 6. I saw someone listen to the spirit whisper that he was needed now and he jumped on a plane 3 hours later. And his cute wife rallied around to make it happen. He had to face the hardest person to face while out in Utah. I have heard he did it with such grace and poise.
I saw someone take 13 kids ages 8-15 to Salt Lake Temple Square to see lights and sleep at a hotel for the night just to give the parents some much needed quiet grieving time. I saw someone love and care for a grieving widow. I saw people worry for their sweet cousins. I saw people doing laundry, cleaning houses, and doing hair for others. I saw girls stay up into the morning hours to finish the photo boards to remind everyone of the life our David lived, especially the poor sweet grieving widow. It truly was one of the most amazing, spiritual weeks of my life. I love the feeling that service gives.
I saw someone take 13 kids ages 8-15 to Salt Lake Temple Square to see lights and sleep at a hotel for the night just to give the parents some much needed quiet grieving time. I saw someone love and care for a grieving widow. I saw people worry for their sweet cousins. I saw people doing laundry, cleaning houses, and doing hair for others. I saw girls stay up into the morning hours to finish the photo boards to remind everyone of the life our David lived, especially the poor sweet grieving widow. It truly was one of the most amazing, spiritual weeks of my life. I love the feeling that service gives.
A Gift of the Heart...
No literally I gave some blood... from my heart! Well... It came out my arm but it was in my heart at some point! Many of you may know that I used to donate plasma twice a week to earn a little extra cash on the side. What you may not know is that I have never given blood. When I heard that Amy always liked to give blood I knew it was the perfect gift.
When I decided this is what I wanted to do I had just missed the stake blood drive so I looked up the local Red Cross blood donation location (hey that rhymed). I drove to Lake Forrest, walked in, signed up, passed the screening with flying colors and pumped out that blood. I'm glad I was able to do this to provide much needed blood for those in need and I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for Amy.
Random Story: When you give blood or plasma they usually give you something to squeeze in your hand. It is usually squishy or something like that. Well they didn't have anymore for me so they gave me a roll of tape saying, "Sorry this is all we have." I said "I don't mind if you don't care if your tape is ruined by end." So I squoze (yes, I know squoze is not a word but it's more fun) that tape to death. At the end they had to throw it away. :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AMY!!!
When I decided this is what I wanted to do I had just missed the stake blood drive so I looked up the local Red Cross blood donation location (hey that rhymed). I drove to Lake Forrest, walked in, signed up, passed the screening with flying colors and pumped out that blood. I'm glad I was able to do this to provide much needed blood for those in need and I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for Amy.
Me in the screening room taking the test!Random Story: When you give blood or plasma they usually give you something to squeeze in your hand. It is usually squishy or something like that. Well they didn't have anymore for me so they gave me a roll of tape saying, "Sorry this is all we have." I said "I don't mind if you don't care if your tape is ruined by end." So I squoze (yes, I know squoze is not a word but it's more fun) that tape to death. At the end they had to throw it away. :)
Look at all that BLOOD!!!MERRY CHRISTMAS AMY!!!
2011 Season of Service
The family of Ed and Kriss Gates are continuing their new family tradition of performing service for, or on behalf of, each other.
In 2009, with families spread across five state throughout the country, we decided our traditional gift exchange was too costly and difficult. Amy Dittbrenner, the second Gates child, suggested that instead of the commercialized practice of buying small gifts only to pay high shipping costs, we each perform acts of service in the name of the sibling whose name we were assigned at random.
Just as in the past, our good friend Carrie Collins drew the names and notified each of us privately to keep secret who was doing good in your name. On Christmas Day, we reveal who we had and how we chose to celebrate the new tradition of the Gates Family Season of Service.
This tradition has helped us focus on serving our communities and one another during the annual celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
The 2011 Gates Family Season of Service
In 2009, with families spread across five state throughout the country, we decided our traditional gift exchange was too costly and difficult. Amy Dittbrenner, the second Gates child, suggested that instead of the commercialized practice of buying small gifts only to pay high shipping costs, we each perform acts of service in the name of the sibling whose name we were assigned at random.
Just as in the past, our good friend Carrie Collins drew the names and notified each of us privately to keep secret who was doing good in your name. On Christmas Day, we reveal who we had and how we chose to celebrate the new tradition of the Gates Family Season of Service.
This tradition has helped us focus on serving our communities and one another during the annual celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
The 2011 Gates Family Season of Service
- To Dad... ... from Wayne.
- To Mom... ... from Tiffany.
- To Bill... ... from Amy.
- To Char... ... from Chuck.
- To Wayne... ...from Hock.
- To Amy... ...from Ryan.
- To Chuck... ... from Dad.
- To Ashley... ...from Mitzi.
- To Mike... ... from Bill (kind of).
- To Lani... ... from Charise.
- To Hock... ... from Mom.
- To Mitzi... ... from Lani (and from Bill).
- To Ryan... ... from Mike.
- To Tiff... ... from Ashley.
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