Mom and Dad safe after attempted coup

This morning, we were concerned to hear about the attempted coup in Kinshasa, but we have confirmed that Ed and Kriss are safely in their apartment.

We are relieved to let you know that Mitzi has been in contact with our parents, who briefly related some of the morning's difficulties.

Shoes for Wayne

(Posted by Kriss on behalf of Ed.)

It is another year and I find myself writing my report of the service, and not making the dead line. May I ask for a little slack this time (1) because I am another year older and (2) because I am in Africa and they never do anything on time. It takes forever to get things done, so I guess I am now part Congolese.

I think Mom and I could have given this project to our whole family because of the support you have given us to be here on our mission.  However… this year it is Wayne's great pleasure to receive my service.

Sometimes I find it difficult to find something that can truly relate to the person to whom you give the service, but not this year. I am very lucky to have Wayne… or I could say it was a great blessing to the orphanage to have our Christmas service be for Wayne. I can remember as a very young boy the many times during the Christmas season some one would come by and ask each of us what we wanted for Christmas. With that memory in mind, it was an easy decision to take Christmas to the orphans that are looked after by a wonderful sister in the church… who reminders me of my mom.

Now, why is my project for Wayne? Most of us have been to the Dittbrenner home and know how much Wayne likes you to come in … and make your self yourself right at home… take your shoes off, put your feet up and relax. Big No! At Wayne’s house… we all wear shoes! So, don't worry Wayne. When any of our orphan children come to visit you, they will have shoes on… and you may find they will not let those shoes out of their sight.

We went to see the orphans about 10 days before Christmas. When we were leaving, one fun little nine year old boy walked out to the car with us. He said... in French… “Please shoes-no food” and showed Mom his scarred up feet. It was then that I decided on my service project.  At first we thought we may find some at the market that has second hand shoes. That proved a bad idea, because there weren’t many used tennis shoes… just dress shoes.

We had a wonderful experience taking the oldest 6 boys shopping  We wanted to make sure that the shoes would fit.  We decided to go to the best store that sells food, and some clothes and some shoes. When we got there and we gave them the price range to look at, there were not many great choices. These boys, ages 9 to 17, had never had a new pair of shoes. The younger ones had never had anything but flip flops. They saw these great basketball shoes, with many bright colors. Their eyes lit up when they saw them. I could feel them thinking “Wow, we wish we could get these” but they could see that they were out of the price range we had given them. They continued to look to see what they could find in the right price.

About this time my mind went back to when I was very young and we would get to go to Deseret Industries and get new shoes. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciated what we got, but there was not much choice. I decided that we would give these 6 boys the shoes they wanted. You would have thought we gave them the world. Such joy, and oh, the excitement… jumping up and down and hugging each other. They were truly happy for each other and so appreciative to us. It was truly worth it to see and feel the excitement in their lives.

Each boy wanted to carry their own box out to the truck. We had told them that they couldn’t take the shoes home with them, and they would get them back in 4 days for Christmas. It was like they were saying goodbye to their best friends.


On Christmas day, when we got to the orphanage, my heart sank to see the condition that these kids live in and what they go through just to survive. Many times during the afternoon while we ate and gave out the presents, I would look over at our mission present and our eyes would meet as the tears rolled down our cheeks.

When the gifts were given out and we came to handing out the boxes of shoes, tied with yellow bows… these boys jumped had yelled with such joy, that I don't think there was a dry eye amongst the Missionary couples. I know that it was very hard for me then, as it is now as I write this to keep it under control.

So to my wonderful son Wayne, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this service in behalf of you, because I know that you would want them to have shoes when they come to visit!?!?!

Thanks to all and please, cherish all that you have.

Love Elder (Dad) Gates

Our Christmas at the Orphanage - Part 2

This morning, Christmas, two of the other couple missionaries, the Smiths and the Moons, came and helped us wrap and get ready to go to the orphanage. They were a great help! Then we loaded up the cars and left for the orphanage with President and Sister Cook, the Smiths and the Sneddons.




It rained very hard last night. We were concerned about how we would get into the orphanage on the muddy roads. They live on the side of a creek which swells with the rain and floods their home and school. When we arrived, we were bewildered to see that their “home” was full of filthy water and their yard was full of water that was even filthier, as it was partial rain water and partial septic water. Our hearts were full of love for these special children of God. We watched them bucket the water from their home. They finally gave up and spent about an hour cleaning out the school, where we held our Christmas party.



The oldest boy, 17 year old Israel, is completely blind. However, he was chosen to welcome the missionaries and told us all how excited they were to have Christmas. They were amazed at the dinner that we thought was very simple. Israel said that they had never had anything like this in their lives, and they were thrilled.



After we ate we brought out the gifts. We started with the clothes. We had worked hard to find the right sizes for the right sexes. We did a great job of it, and the kids were thrilled with their new clothes.

I had the kids play a choosing game for each age group, where we spread out all the clothes for that age, and then they would take turns picking their favorite item. It was a big success. For reasons to be explained in Dad's blog, the big boys only got socks and one or two T shirts.
The twelve year old girls each got a pair of pants and four cute shirts. The little boys each got three outfits and flip flops. The three little six year old girls got the most. Each little girl got two dresses, a pair of long pants, a pair of shorts, and about five shirts. The final fun thing was that I found three little outfits with net Tutus… and everyone screamed and cheered at how cute they were.

Next we got out the Toys!

We started with 5 little pairs of sunglasses. Jimae this one is for you!

We gave the boys their special gift (more details in Dad's blog) and then we gave the girls their pieces of fabric plus a $10 bill to pay to have the dresses made. (At this point we ran out of space on our camera disk for photos. I will try to get some from the other couples. For now… let me just say… it was “magic” and wonderful. We wept many tears. Philomene cried and cried with gratitude.)

Then we started with the real toys… the coloring books, the crayons, the little cars and then the quads. The three nine year old boys were so excited that they literally wept when they opened up the toy quads.

The 5 girls opened up their dolls. I was concerned that the 12 year olds might think they were too big for dolls, but they ran up and hugged all of us and kept saying “Merci, Merci, Merci.” We found out they had never had dolls. Actually, they have never had toys. We ended with a good sized box being opened by the 6 boys… ages 3 to 14. When they saw it was filled with soccer balls they went crazy. (The balls they have used for years are made with paper, tape and sometimes wire. ) We gave them each a gallon size bag with a sleeve of cookies, a bag of cheese puffs, 3 little candy bars, 2 suckers and of course… an orange.

Elder and Sister Sneddon presented the school with some school supplies and some benches and desks for one of the classrooms. (They have previously just sat on the ground all day, every day.) President and Sister Cook presented Hygeine kits and School kits from Salt Lake to each of the children. Everyone was happily exhausted when we cleaned up and said goodbye.

This has been a Christmas we will remember the rest of our lives. Thank you Ashley for being our inspiration. I honestly don’t think we ever would have thought to do it, if it hadn’t been for you and the story about the oranges.



We miss all of you, and we wish you could be here with us and see what we are seeing. Thank you for your encouragement to serve. You are amazing kids.



Merry Christmas… Darlings. From Mom and Dad

Our Christmas at the Orphanage - Part 1

About 3 weeks ago, I started to focus on what I should do for my Season of Service Family Christmas project. This year I get to do my service to honor our Ashley. I realized I had many facets of her life that could focus on to serve others. I thought about the fact that she is such a great mother and about the fact that she is very active in working at the school and at church with other children. Then I thought about her job and how great she is with fresh fruits and vegetables. I wondered if I might be able to go work in a garden here in the Congo, but I don’t know anyone with a garden. Then I thought about one of my favorite Christmas stories. It is written as if the author was an orphan, and it is about how much she loved Christmas as a child. Her favorite part of Christmas day was always the fresh orange that each child was given every year on Christmas. The story is very sweet, but for now the important thing is that it inspired me for my Christmas service project. We have our own orphanage… and I decided I wanted to buy an orange for each of the orphans.

I decided to expand our horizons and take them in Christmas dinner. Then I decided I might as well go buy them each a little toy, and of course every child needs something fun to wear on Christmas.

A Mormon woman by the name of Philomene started the orphanage 14 years ago. The number fluctuates, but there are now 17 “orphans” in residence. They range in ages from 6 months old to 22 years old. The oldest 5 were some of the original kids and they were raised in the orphanage family. The two boys , who are originals, are both blind. The three original girls now help take care of the younger kids. They are like a big wonderful family.

Two weeks ago we visited the orphanage to get an idea of sizes for the children. We arranged to pick up the oldest 11 “children” on Saturday, December 21st at 9:00 am. They live about 45 minutes away from us. Most of them had never been into the city, some had never ridden in a car. We loaded them up for a big adventure!  It was a great day!

We decided we that these kids have always worn hand-me-downs. We wanted them to get something new. The Congolese women who can afford the fabric, always wear beautiful dresses to church. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of fabrics to choose from. It is a special “waxed” fabric that holds the bright colors, even after many washings. The women buy the fabric and then have the dress made specifically for them. We decided to take the girls to choose their own fabric and then pay someone to make their dresses. The labor is only $5.00 to $10.00 depending upon the style they choose.

We bought for the boys first… see Dad’s writeup. Then we took them all to buy ice cream cones (for many another first) ...

... and then we took the girls to the area of town that is specifically about 50 small stalls filled with fun bright fabrics. They were mesmerized. They each ended up buying their favorite piece, and then give them back to us to keep until Christmas day. 

We were very impressed with how polite these kids were, and how cute they were to take care of one another… especially our 2 blind boys. We really bonded with these kids. It is probably a good thing that we are leaving Kinshasa, because I am getting way too attached to them. The shopping day was a great success!

In the meantime we had to go shopping for the food, clothes and gifts. The food and gifts were fairly easy, purchased from regular stores. However, the shopping for used clothes was an event in itself! If you think the malls at home are crowded on Christmas eve… try shopping the “mall” here the day before Christmas.  Not only are there no stores, there are no tables.  People sometimes have a rack to hang things on... but mostly they just have big piles on the ground for you to look through.

Dad deserves a hero badge for putting up with the heat, the crowds, the French language and the digging through piles and piles of used clothes that miraculously appear from thrift shops around the world. We felt great yesterday when all the shopping was done!

Merry Christmas Hoser!

When I learned in May that I had the fortune of serving Mike McBride for 2013, I felt a bit anxious, but encouraged, similar to Frodo contemplating the epic journey Gandalf assigned to him in The Fellowship of the Ring. (OK, full disclosure: I’ve never read any of The Lord of the Rings books or seen the movies, but I’m trying to write this for Mike, so I relied on Wikipedia to help me set up this analogy.)

I’ve always loved Mike because he’s so great for Mitzi, but our relationship is not easy to describe. It’s never been negative, but it has been lightly strained in rare times for whatever reason, the biggest of which was probably rooted in Mitzi’s transition from being my best friend to being Mike’s wife and best friend. Even though it was never bad, things have gotten much better over the years.

But this year, I determined to show love for Mike by getting to know him better. My goal was to identify his strengths and seek to adopt them in my life.

Jeff Immelt’s finest

Jeffrey R. Immelt, Chairman and CEO of
General Electric is grateful for Mike McBride

We joke that Mike’s job involves a lot of conferences at beach resorts and “training sessions” on the golf course, with an occasional meeting with doctors in North Carolina. But, we all know that Mike works hard and works smart to excel as one of GE’s best sales representatives.

Last year, while seeking to further my career, I identified a handful of business contacts that I deeply respected from whom I wanted to learn. Through that process, I realized that I was blessed to be the brother-in-law of the top salesman in his division of GE, but I had never taken the time to ask what it was that made him the best. So I asked him late last year, but circumstances that day prevented us from discussing the answer.

This year, we’ve discussed it more in depth, and not only did I learn a lot more about Mike’s work and his successful attributes, but I realized something I needed to adopt within myself. Mike works hard, but he admits that with his priorities to family and God, it was likely there would always be others who worked harder then he chose to. Where he really excels, is in working especially effectively by building relationships and listening to his customers.

Mike is the rare combination of a great leader and salesperson who doesn’t feel the need to dominate the room. By spending more time listening, he earns the respect of others because he learns how to work with them individually. His ability to let others dominate a conversation enables him to lead and sell more effectively.

This year, I’ve tried to do better at listening at work. I’ve realized to embrace those somewhat awkward pauses in conversation as moments for all to reflect on what has been said, whereas my natural tendency is to fill the pauses with the sound of my own voice. By following Mike’s example, I’ve become a better listener, and therefore, a better worker, friend, and husband.

Embrace discomfort

Speaking of embracing difficult situations… Mike does really well at embracing the chaos of being married to a Gates. I doubt it is in Mike’s natural character to surround himself with loud crowds and or raucous gaggles of children playing.

The McBride house is a hub of activity and Mike’s office is located right inside the front door. Somehow, he has developed a way to prohibit this from distracting him. But this characteristic goes beyond ignoring distractions.

Mike loves spending quality time alone or with his kids in the quiet comfort of the home he built for his family to enjoy. But he also knows that because his wife is a natural hostess, activities director, and super-involved mom, the house is likely to be filled with neighbors, church members, Kids Are Music friends, or the extended Gates family. Because he finds joy in seeing her enjoy her friends and family, he frequently sets aside his discomfort to see her shine. I’ve always felt welcome to come visit the McBride house, no matter how much chaos is already there.

This welcoming attitude can result in difficult situations for a man that relishes a clean and well-taken care-of-abode. I learned a lot from Mike on one particular night when Charise, Lani, and I were there with our entire families.

Amidst the fun, one of the visiting parents had forgotten to check the diaper of their child, which was beyond capacity when it exploded leaving a mess of absorbent gel and “other” stuff on the floor. After the parent cleaned up the mess, they explained the situation to Mike and Mitzi with the rest of us watching. As the details emerged, I was befuddled how calmly Mike handled the news. He chose love over frustration by calmly discussing the situation and how it was resolved.

Since that night, I’ve thought of Mike a number of times as I’ve tried not to jump down people’s throats when they break bad news to me.

Support your queen

Kids everywhere!

Mike often shows love for his wife through small acts of service. For instance, when bedtime falls upon the McBride house, Mike takes the lead in directing the children through their nightly routine. This year I’ve tried to do better at making bedtime a quality time for me to spend with my kids.

Mike and Mitzi always welcome the neighborhood kids or cousins into their home. On December 23, Ashley and I decided to serve in their honor by inviting our friends to drop their kids off at our house for a few hours so they could run their Christmas errands. Admittedly, Ashley did most of the work, but it was a way for us to serve others as Mitzi and Mike serve their friends.

Enjoy the Competition

Mike and our Dad have a terrific relationship based on respect mixed with a significant amount of teasing through competitive sports and games. In the past, I haven’t always behaved well when playing alongside Mike and Dad. Their desire to care for me may have caused them to limit their competitive opportunities around me, even though it is a valued part of their relationship. This year, I set a goal of encouraging their competition and changing the way I behave when playing with them.

Dad and Mike especially enjoy playing golf together, where they satisfy their competitive needs with small wagers and not-so-small amounts of trash talk. To be honest, I’ve always struggled with their golfing relationship. I don’t play golf much anymore and due to my weaknesses, I’ve abandoned all forms of wagers. Plus, only two can ride together in a cart and I was jealous of their ability to laugh about themselves no matter how poorly they were playing.

When we went to Lake Gaston in October, I was excited to find out we would all get to go golfing together. I prayed that I would grow by finding happiness in seeing them enjoy each other. I chose to ride in a golf cart with another brother, Michael Hock, so that I could spend quality time with him and also watch Dad and Mike from afar. This new attitude helped me find great joy in watching them laugh and tease one another. It also turned out to be a great bonding opportunity for me and Hock (apparently, his golf swing responds much better to my more aloof attitude to golf). It is the best memories I have of golfing with my Dad and brothers.

Socks vs. blue jeans

During the Thanksgiving weekend, a few of us played basketball at the McBride’s house. It was Mike, Hock, and Mitzi against myself, Ashley, and Lani. As we played, it became clear that my team was much worse at shooting the ball. While losing the first two games, I chose to find joy in just playing alongside my brothers and sisters and didn’t worry very much about the score. Although we were clearly overmatched, we competed well and Lani and Hock wanted to keep playing. I said that was fine, but I was too fat and too stiff to keep guarding Hock, so I switched with Lani, so that I could guard Mike, who was playing quite casually although he was draining long-distance shots with ease.

In the third game, we found success by getting me the ball down low, then throwing it back out to Ashley or Lani who started hitting shots. My height kept Mike from shooting as often from outside, and as the score got more competitive, so did Mike and I. Luckily, just as I started to get frustrated, I caught myself. I smiled and realized Mike was goading me like he would Dad. Shortly thereafter we won the third game.

During our water break, Ashley and Lani separately checked on me to make sure I wasn’t frustrated and about to get too physical. I ensured them I was fine and enjoying myself. As our team won the fourth game, Mike’s teasing and creative rules (à la Ed) got stronger, but for the first time, I saw it as a positive quality that he shared with Dad.

The fifth game ended as it should have, with them draining outside shots to humble us. But, afterwards I realized how much I enjoyed the experience. Mike’s characteristics brought out the best in all of us to have a good, competitive game.

Love your brother

We miss you Ryan.

The way that Mike shows his love for the Gates family amazingly fills a much-needed role in our family. His calm, collected nature and willingness to quietly serve was especially evident on September 9, the most difficult day of our lives. Mike’s actions on the day we learned of our brother Ryan’s death was nothing short of an angelic ministry of God’s love.

I’m constrained not to share the details of all that he did, but his handling of the phone call, telling Dad, and administering a blessing to Mom and Dad all exemplify the way he lives close to the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. I’ve talked with him multiple times about those experiences in order to identify ways that I can learn to live to be able to perform the small miracles he did that day.

But the greatest way he touched my heart that day occurred after Dad, Mom, and the sisters were all in the air on their way to hold Tiffany. I picked up the phone and called my brother. Only a short time had passed since we heard the bad news, but we shared a calm and sacred conversation about the future of our family which the Spirit of the Lord had placed in our hearts.

Mike – I’m so glad you were there for me on that day. I’m grateful to have spent this past year focusing on your strengths and trying to adopt them in myself. I’ve always thanked you for being so great to my sister. Today, I want to thank you for being my brother.