From Mike to Chuck

The Package

It was a grey day. Clouds threatened moisture all day but it never came. In walked this lady. She cradled a package under her arm. Strange looking package, but who was I to ask questions. I was just the courier, the mule. She asked me to take the package to Phoenix. Alarm bells started going off in my head. Who was this dame? Could she be trusted? This package could spell trouble with a capital T.

I headed to the airport, what choice did I have. I made it through security, sweat pouring down my brow. Overhead I could hear the words “never carry a stranger’s item”. My eyes darted around as I felt the walls closing in. I handed my ticket to the agent, my hand visibly shaking. I sank down into my seat. It just didn’t make any sense, why me? Why now? By the time we reached Phoenix, I wasn’t any closer to the answer. I felt like I was chasing rainbows.

The next morning, my mind was still reeling. The concierge eyed me suspiciously as I left the hotel, address in hand. It was a hot day, hotter than flapjacks on a griddle. Thirty minutes later I reached the address. The home was just one of thousands just like it in America suburbia. But what sinister person lurked behind the door? With trepidation, I willed my legs forward…knocked on the door…and waited. The door creaked open and I walked to the table in front of me. Warily, I looked about. No immediate threats. Again, I tried to wrap my mind around this errand. Could I really trust that dame, I mean, how well do you know your sister in law after 21 years. Sure, she claimed the package was for her missionary son but could I be sure this wasn’t some drug run I was on. Ok, so I went to his farewell and could confirm he was on a mission but still, his mother could have put anything in that package. When the woman told me how much it would be to have this package personally driven and delivered to my nephew, I called my brother. He went ballistic when he heard it was $64 just to send this care package. “Should have just used Amazon” he said. See, I knew there was a reason to be scared.

This delivery, to my Spanish speaking, Mexican mission serving nephew, was my first service in Chuck’s honor. You will understand how this relates to Chuck shortly, but first, I would like to throw out a question to all of you. What is Charles Gate’s job? Jeopardy music playing….

For those of you who answered Transponster, you are incorrect.

Chuck is a Communications and Government Relations professional.

As most of you know, communication is definitely not in my wheelhouse. I decided to step up my communications game a notch or two as my service. Starting with the story above, I facilitated communication between a mother and her son. Boo ya!

Additionally, I wrote to 3 missionaries this month. So that makes a total of 3 missionary letters over the last 20 years. As I mentioned, I am not the best communicator.

Also, I went to a townhall meeting to fight a potentially wrong-headed development. I worked my political chops ala Chuck Gates and stood up and communicated my opinion.

Finally, I worked on communicating with my wife. I wrote a note of appreciation to her each of the days of December.

This service for Chuck helped me step out of my comfort zone. He does this much better than I do. I admire him for his passion and for his ability to express that passion in a public setting. I know that his ability to communicate has helped the City of Richmond. I have seen him communicate with his children, getting down to their level. I hope to be a little bit better by communicating a little more often. 

Help for Rape Victims & Orphans

This year I am doing my service for Lani.  One of her passions is helping the women in Africa.  I heard about an organization and wondered if I had time to get involved, but I decided it would be a good Christmas service project, and that I would make the time.  I heard about this organization from a Congolese man at work that gave me the name and number of the contact in charge of the office.  As the office was in a rough part of town, he even went with me for my original appointment, to act as my body guard and translator. 

This organization is called:  HELP FOR WOMEN VICTIMS OF SEXUAL VIOLANCE AND ORPHANS. 

The facility to help these women and children is actually in the Northeast part of the DRCongo.  The area is very dangerous, so we won’t actually go there.  The office will coordinate the transportation of all items we donate. 

Exact statistics are difficult to get, but one report stated that  “40% of the women in the DRC have been raped”.   Most of the people that live in that part of the DRCongo are Muslims.  When a girl or woman is raped, she is considered “unclean” and she is abandoned by her family… no matter the age of the victim.  Many die because of lack of food and shelter.  This organization provides both of these essentials for these girls & women.  They receive intensive counseling and are taught self-esteem. There is a farm where they are taught how to grow things, which helps them become self-sufficient and eventually able to earn some money and function independently.   The woman who started the organization is in the above photo. 

I met with the woman in charge of the office and she shared a video and some information with us.

  We were encouraged to donate anything we could in the way of money or clothes or school supplies, as all are badly needed. We have found out that these women don’t wear pants.  It is against their culture.  However skirts and dresses and pieces of fabric to use as wrap-arounds will all be appreciated.  There is also a large orphanage, near the Rape Victim Refuge, that has children desperately in need of clothing and shoes.  They can attend the school, but must wear uniforms of navy blue bottoms, and white button-up-the-front collared shirts and blouses.    

We have started gathering things in the US, and some were already brought over by Westland.  We will be taking them to the office in January and in February, as they come in.  In the meantime, I have helped to coordinate an Eagle Scout project that will be also collecting things for these women and children. 

Thank you, Lani, for being a great example to me.

Merry Christmas Froggy

I have enjoyed the opportunity to live by Bill for the last five years. It’s been fun to get to know him better and talk about work, raising kids, and just life in general.  Bill is a good man with a big heart.  One of the things that has always impressed me about Bill is his willingness to serve.  I’ve been especially impressed with the way he involves himself in his kids’ lives and the way he helps Char with his kids. Bill clearly views raising the kids as a partnership and is very involved.

As I thought about how I could serve Bill, I kept coming back to how involved Bill is in his kids’ lives and how much help he provides Charise in raising Brighton, Cole, and Savvy.  I decided that for my service to Bill, I would make a greater effort in helping Lani with our four kids.  I started to consciously be the first one to help them when the needed something.  When Hunter needed a diaper changed I was on it.  When someone would wake up crying I tried to go and help them before Lani even knew they needed something. When someone wet the bed, I cleaned it up. When breakfast or lunch time rolls around, I’ve tried to make them food.  

It’s been a fantastic experience. I’ve thought of Bill often and grown closer to my kids.  Particularly Hunter.  He and I have bonded over the endless amounts of diaper changes and meal preparation.  It’s gotten to the point where he comes to me to ask for things before going to Lani. (Perhaps this service has backfired. Just kidding.) I have also developed an increased appreciation for Lani and how much she does. My awareness of what needs to be done to get the kids where they need to go has increased.

Bill’s willingness to serve has also inspired me to be more aware of opportunities to serve and to jump at those opportunities when they come up.  December is usually a very busy time at work, but it also provides a ton of opportunities to serve.  In the past I would normally use work as an excuse to stand on the sidelines, but this year I’ve often thought “Bill would volunteer for this, I better do the same”. Bill’s service mindset, has rubbed off on me and has allowed me to participate in some neat experiences this Christmas season.  A couple of weeks ago I was in church and they asked for volunteers to go with the Deacons Quorum to participate in baptisms for the dead.  I wasn’t sure I would have time, but I thought to myself “the Lord has blessed me a lot, I can make the time to do this for Him.  Besides, Bill would do this”.  The experience was terrific and I was glad I went.

There was another night this month where they needed volunteers to dress up as a wise man at the Apex Nativity.  I volunteered and again had a great experience. It was a cold night, but I felt warm inside reflecting on the Savior and knowing I was helping.  A couple of nights later I went early to the ward Christmas party to help prepare and set up food.  Again, it was nice to serve and feel the spirit. 

I’m grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to serve Bill this year, by serving my family and others.  It’s helped me feel closer to Bill, and made me a better person.  Bill, thank you for all you do.  You found the gospel later in life, but have taken hold with both hands and embraced the Lords call to “do unto others as ye would have them do unto you”.  Thank you for your example Bill. Merry Christmas!

Love Hock 

Silent Night... Holy Night

To my baby sister and hero Tiffany-

Although the youngest of 6, in some things I think she is the wisest of us all. She has been blessed with a unique set of trials in this life that has carved her into one of the Lord's choice warriors. Who would have guessed that she would be the first one to hit 5 kids! Earlier this year when she had a newborn, trying to sell her house, trying to pack and move, dealing with a split family and figuring out custody, I asked Tiffany how she was doing and she said, "I'm exhausted". I wished in that moment that I lived closer so that I could help babysit or pack her house. Maybe even help her paint a room. Or I wished that I could take her sweet kids on a fun sleep over so that she could have a night to herself or with her husband... just to sleep if she wanted to. 

Often times I feel overwhelmed by how blessed I am. I strive daily not take it for granted that my life is extremely blessed. I often think about D&C 82:3 that reads "For of him unto whom much is given much is required". It is clear, and sometimes daunting, to think of how extremely blessed I have been so the Lord must need to be doing a lot. I love my family. They are all healthy. I am crazy about my husband.  I have a beautiful home. I run a company that I absolutely love. I have occasional work trips that although I miss my kids, it allows me to get away every few months to focus on learning for 3 days straight (which I LOVE) and sleep in a hotel on my own schedule, not on mommy schedule. Although exhausted after these trips, I come home a bit more rejuvenated and excited to be a mommy because I missed my kids, even if it was just one night. 

Now for my service...

When I was pregnant with Hunter, I was visiting teaching another working mom that was pregnant and due at the same time as me. We were both pregnant with our 4th, or so we thought. She soon found out she was having twins. It was quite a surprise for her. I can't imagine how busy and tired she was when her twins arrived for a total of 5 young boys. 

When Hunter was 7 weeks old and AJ was diagnosed with cancer, during our long day in the Emergency Room, her sweet husband stopped by to see how we were doing. It was so sweet of him to take time from his busy life to come and sit with us for a bit in our ER room to see how we were doing. He headed home to his family to find that his oldest had taken a bad fall and so he loaded him in the car and headed right back to the ER that he had just finished visiting us in (he was even assigned to our same ER room!) right as we headed out to find out he had double broken arms in multiple places. This family is constantly busy with their 5 young boys!

Fast forward 2 years. We had moved into a new house, new ward, and I hadn't talked to her for a while. AJ was healthy and life for us was pretty much to a very happy blessed normal. I was at a small group meeting for moms with kids with chronic illnesses and there she was! We went around the room and each shared our stories. 

As I usually feel in these situations, I felt an overwhelming guilt. How is my life so blessed when these other women are constantly battling with their children's chronic illnesses. It is a daily battle...for LIFE! Cancer is often seen as this big thing, a sexy illness that gets a lot of attention. All of the other women in this room were fighting DAILY with their child's illness. It amazed me. 

When it got to my friend's turn, I assumed she was there for one of her 5 boys that struggled with autism or aspergers. Which she mentioned in her turn but it was a brief introduction to the issues in her home. Within the past 6 months her and her husband have also taken in 2 other boys (total of 7 boys--> 5 under 5) long term. They both struggle with severe neglect. Their issues are constant and daily and therapy will be a weekly part of their life for many years to come. 

At one point she looked around at the group of women and said, "Wouldn't it just be nice to have one night to yourself. JUST to SLEEP! I'm exhausted."

Then popped to my mind a perfect service. I had heard those words from someone else, someone I love and admire deeply and wish that I could help take a portion of their exhaustion away. I sat there for the next few minutes as she continued talking thinking about how I could help give this awesome mommy of 7 young boys a night off. 

Due to me planning a large Christmas Party at a local hotel, they had offered me a free night's stay the night of the event. Although I love a fun little hotel getaway, I realized there was someone that needed this night away much more then I did. 

I contacted this woman's husband and asked if there was any way we could get her to take our hotel room for the night. I explained that it was free and I didn't want to use it but I thought they, or at least she, should take it. He was cute and responded "we will make it happen!" 

He kept it a secret until the day of when she refused to leave all of her responsibilities and had to tell her. I contacted him once again to find out some of her favorites so that she could enjoy her night of rest and relaxation. 

After setting up for my event, I snuck upstairs to use the room to change real quick and drop off her basket of goodies. I realized again how blessed I am. I love hotel rooms. I get to stay in them just the right amount. Not too much that I dread them, not too sparse that I feel like I am missing out. But sometimes a night away in a clean hotel room that you don't have to clean or make food or change diapers just hits the spot! I said a little prayer that her night would be a relaxing one and rewarding for the many nights she spends up at night as a righteous mother. 

I headed back down to our party ballroom and then to take one last load out to my car. I was kind of hoping not to run into her because I wasn't sure if she knew I was involved. But there she was. She wasn't even carrying a suitcase. Just wearing sweats and with tired eyes explained how excited she was to just go and sleep. 

So Tiff, in honor of you, I tried to give another righteous mommy and one of the Lord's chosen warriors that fights unique battles, a night of rest and relaxation for one silent night. Although I wish I lived closer and could do it for you too, for now I hope this will do. 

I love you little sister! Merry Christmas!

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas.....
I have Mom this year!!! Many of my earliest memories are of us singing together. Much of my confidence and love for life has come from Mom taking the time to Build Each Of Our Self Worth. I feel like one of the biggest continuing influences of positive self worth came from performing with Kids Are Music.

As the director today, I often get wonderful emails, texts, facebook posts... from long ago friends who remain touched by the true years of service mom displayed through Kids Are Music. I, myself, have Kids Are Music to thank for my closest friendships. And yet, somehow, life got busy and Kids are Music got put to the side. This past two years, I haven't had the time to do Kids Are Music full time, so we have done a couple of "short seasons". Mom mentioned a few times early in the Spring how she would absolutley love to go with her grandchildren to Washington DC for the 4th of July and have them perform for the crowds. Honestly... she hasn't asked for much from me in the past 20 years.... so I told my husband I wanted to do whatever I could to make that wish happen. (I know.... poor Chari... has to go on vacation.) We put together a patriotic show with lots of the grandchildren and headed off to DC. It. Was. AWESOME!!!!

Here was a short blurb from my journal this summer:
We had an awesome weekend performing all over DC for the crowds on the 4th. We even had people recognize the kids the next day at Arlington National Cemetery and ask for a repeat show! Our kids were all so fun and happy this weekend. Their favorite part was being by their cousins. I am so thankful all 6 of my brothers and sisters made such an effort for their families to be here with us... What a great holiday! Mom, their outfits looked fantastic!

When we got back, I had every intention of doing a big holiday season. But once again, life got in the way. My nieces Hadley, Tara Mei and Zetta continually asked if we could please do a holiday show. They are such darling little performers, and as they continued to ask, I realized that my mom's life, with her 6 children was certainly as busy as, if not much more so than, my life. So... a Kids Are Music holiday season went to the top of my priority list. 





It was a wonderful experience. The kids sparkled and shined, and they were fantastic!!! 

Mom... you have changed hundreds of lives with the joy of performing, service and patriotism you instilled in us all. I wish you knew how amazing what you have accomplished really is.

We love you!!! Thanks for the memories... and Merry Christmas Everybody!!!