Couldn't miss 2021

 Dear Mom & Dad, 

When my sisters suggested we take a year off from the official Gates Family Season of Service, I didn't need much convincing that we might need a break. I enjoy the tradition that this has become and I support the mission of serving our fellow man, but in the past few years, I have felt more overwhelmed by the obligation to do something great and the duty to write about it. I had allowed something special, and even somewhat sacred, to become a chore that I resented just a little bit. 

However... I feel like it has been on my mind quite a bit this year. It isn't like I have felt guilty or remorse for not supporting it this year. Indeed, I have felt relieved of the burden of stressing about it. But I have felt a sense that something is definitely missing; almost like a longing for some beloved past. Most of all, I kept picturing you two not having the chance to sit down and reading such beautiful reports of Christlike service from your posterity. 

When I think of the service you are performing by embarking on your fourth full-time mission together, I have felt a desire to serve in my life.  Then last Sunday, my Bishop spoke to our ward at the end of our Christmas worship service and spoke about how the spirit of service can help us engage with and learn to love our fellow children of Our Heavenly Father. As I pondered on his message with tears in my eyes, I realized that the calendar provided a special opportunity this year. I had five full days between my spiritual celebration of the birth of Christ and Christmas Day. Five! The same number of sisters and children with which I have been blessed. 

So, in honor of my sister and my children, I resolved to engage in a gift to my Savior, which I would then document here as my gift to you. After church, I reached out to my Elders Quorum President and a few families with a request to help me make the week special.

Decorating and spreading cheer

On Monday, I took Lucy and Eddie to decorate the house of a sister in our ward to whom I minister. She lives with multiple sclerosis and is a single mother - and primary caregiver - to her adult son who is autistic. She is an amazing Gospel Doctrine teacher (unrelated to this story but it is a huge part of her that I love)! She hadn't been able to decorate for Christmas and asked if I wouldn't mind doing so. So we brought a ladder, strung lights, and helped bring a small spark of Christmas joy to her family. Most of all, I was blessed to recall loving memories of serving Sister Bjerum alongside Dad when I was young.

On Tuesday, I went to visit an 88-year-old widower in our ward who was baptized less than 10 years ago. He lives alone and hasn't been out in a few years and despite his declining health and physical abilities, he adamantly insists on living in the house in which he spent so many years with his wife. I went to visit him with his next-door neighbor who is a wonderful member of our ward that does a phenomenal job of looking after this elderly brother. When I tried to speak to the brother, the neighbor laughed and said, "He can't hear a word of what you are saying. You have to write it down and then he will respond." After visiting with him for quite some time, I had cramped muscles in my hand, but a warm feeling in my heart and an idea of a few ways that I could serve him. He was extremely grateful just to have somebody visit him.

My side of the conversation

On Wednesday, I went back to this brother's house and repaired a rotting spot of wood on the exterior door frame of his house. It wasn't much work and I knew he probably would not ever even see it. However, it only cost me a tube of sealant, and it stopped the damage that was occurring every time it rained.

On Thursday, I took a load of trash to the dump for a family in our ward that is moving to Canada this week. They have been a great client for my handyman work, and while I have been doing some work on their deck this week, I left my trailer in their driveway and told them to fill it with trash. I have taken a few loads for them, but I had decided this would be my special service for them, since our local dump is closed on Thursday and I knew I would need to drive the extra distance to the other side of the county. 

Friday was Christmas Eve and I was struggling to find a specific plan for service. But Ashley had decided to clean off our back porch and give away the three pieces of white, wicker furniture that we don't use. After she posted it online, she found a woman who had just moved into a new home and wanted the furniture for her deck. But the woman could not come pick it up and we are leaving today. So, I told Ashley that we could deliver the furniture as my service for the day. So, we pretended our truck was Santa's sleigh and we delivered it to their doorstep late on Christmas Eve.

None of these individual acts was life-altering or even a big deal. Except, they kind of were to me. I am grateful for the spirit I felt as I prayed each day to find opportunities to serve and acted to embrace them as they arose. 

So, on this Christmas Day, I hope this message will help you feel a bit of the spirit I felt this week. I also hope this experience helps to brighten my approach to the Gates Family Season of Service in the future. Most of all, thank you for your lifelong examples of service! 

I love you so much,
Chuck

God Bless Us Everyone!

 

Apparently, there is a limit to the amount of service our kids are willing to do, and they are a little smarter than I give them credit. I tried to pawn this off on them through guilt, but they know that Santa has already come and gone so what, they ask, is the point? We’ve got 363 days to make it up they say. So the task is left to me, with a little help from Chuck Dickens.

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come around as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creature bound on other journeys.”

Ed and Kriss had a family tradition in California. They looked for need in their fellow passengers and found it in a single mom in their ward. Every year, the Gates family ventured out and purchased a tree for their own family and this single mom. Her tree was always as good or better than the tree they bought for their own family. It was always given anonymously but with Christ’s love.

We decided to mimic this by doing a secret Santa for a young boy named Jaxon. We hope we were able to brighten his Christmas just a little bit.

 “Don’t be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow”

We learned a little about where this tree giving tradition came from when we decided to serve family by visiting Uncle Ernie. We thought that Ed would like us to do this. We had a tough battle with inertia as Mitzi and the kids were pretty content snuggled in front of the TV. But we won the battle and drove to see Ernie and Linda and brought them some bread. With tears in his eyes, Ernie explained how every year, on Christmas Eve, someone left a tree on their front porch. He was so grateful for that. It was a great visit and I am glad we had this reminder to leverage our butts off our couch.

“Clear away! There was nothing they wouldn’t have cleared away, or couldn’t have cleared away, with old Fezziwig looking on. It was done in a minute. Every movable was packed off, as if it were dismissed from public life for evermore; the floor was swept and watered, the lamps were trimmed, fuel was heaped upon the fire; and the warehouse was as snug, and warm, and dry, and bright a ball-room, as you would desire to see upon a winter’s night.”

At any church activity, Mitzi always encourages us to stick around after and help clean up. This is what her parents did. There was never a question of whether to leave early or not. We haven’t had the opportunity to clean up after activities due to covid so, instead, we volunteered to clean the church as a family. We swept and watered, we cleared away and made the church snug and warm.

“And how did little Tim behave?” asked Mrs Cratchit. “As good as gold,” said Bob, “and better. Somehow he gets thoughtful sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard. He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas day, who made the lame beggars walk and blind men see.”

We decided that Kriss and Ed would love to serve little Jack so we loaded up the family for the Partridge move. Our kids, never complaining, unloaded the moving van in a very efficient manner and then proceeded to help organize and clean the Partridge’s new home.

Kriss and Ed are a great example to our family. We loved serving in their name this year.

We wish you all a Merry Christmas and in 2021, “God Bless us, Everyone!”

To the Partridge's and their new Pear Tree

 We were on our trip when we were given our service assignments this year. So it provided us with hours... and hours... and hours of time to contemplate what we could do. What could we do for the sweet Partridge's and their new pear tree?

Since many of those hours were also spent watching Jack Jack's every move we could, full of oooohs and awes.... there was one idea that stood out the most... babysitting for a family with young kids. 

The other thing I wanted to do I haven't given up hope on quite yet. The park that Tyler organized our awesome PickleBall Tournament at really needs something like this that I saw at another park, but I didn't want to just buy one due to price and didn't feel like the kids would be involved. But I'm still thinking... and would love to donate it to the park in honor or Tyler. 

Back to the babysitting: We reached out to 3 different families with young families. We asked if there was anytime in the next month before Christmas that we could watch their kids, whether for a date night or shopping day, we would be ready to take their kids. 

None of them responded... NONE. So I sent another message to each of them. NOTHING. Finally on the 3rd message 2 said they kept waiting for Covid to get better because they really wanted to take advantage but were still a little worried about it. They were the 2 families with the newest babies.

The last family said I don't know what we will do but I feel like we could use a sitter tomorrow. We were excited to have someone take our offer. 

The night before they were supposed to come, the mom called and asked, "Were you serious about babysitting ANYtime?" I answered "of course!" She said "can I bring them over at 8 am? We just got invited to a live temple session tomorrow and normally I wouldn't have a babysitter but since you had offered, I hoped you would say yes so I was already prepared to say yes!"

For those who don't know, we consider the temples on earth to be sacred and special. A please to step away from the world and feel a piece of heaven. The temples are mostly closed due to Covid except for rare occasions. 

The babysittin WAS INSPIRED!

The kids were such great helpers and all wanted to help, especially with the youngest. Who was quite a crier! 😳

She cried for at least half of the time. But I realized being a baby during Covid, you REALLY aren't used to other people. You don't even have nursery on Sundays. Or meeting other people in the hallways. And you definitely haven't had many, if any, babysitters. 

The only thing that would calm her was Baby Shark... so we listened to it at least 40 times. 

We finally got her warmed up to us. 

The parents were VERY grateful!

Darcy and Tyler, we love you both so much. Tyler, you are an absolutely perfect addition to the family. We are so grateful Heavenly Father sent you to our family. Baby Jack too! He seems perfect and we can't wait to meet him. 

THE FAMILY THAT DOES IT ALL! THE DITTBRENNERS.

Dear, dear Dittbrenners:

We were lucky enough to get you for our family service.  We are lucky because you serve in so many ways that we had lots of things to choose from.  As we considered each of you, we realized how much you do for everyone whose lives you touch.  We are very proud of you as we have watched you adjust to two moves this year... plus Covid.  You have all been positive and looked for the best in both locations.  We have not been able to be with you much, but we are blessed through technology to have enjoyed highlights of:  the moves, the cross country drive, the golf course job, the fun of the Disney Store job, the airport Covid adventures, hunting and fishing, trips to Disney World, removal of a gall bladder, the most amazing dancing Santa ever... and best of all Jack coming into the world.

In keeping with the idea of variety and technology, we remembered that your family have been some of the best that we know that have tried to Light the World the past few years.  (3 years ago Dixie had us go buy 48 bottles of water and distribute them on the streets of the Congo.).  The recipients were thrilled.  This year, we decided we were really going to focus on this year's Light The World, as our gift of service to the Dittbrenners.  

We didn't do everything on exactly the day it was suggested, but we did do every item.  Some were done with a little alteration.  We didn't always post them, but we posted some, which was a big step for us.  We have almost given up posting since being home from our missions, because we feel so blessed that we don't want to seem like we are boasting.  Due to the church's encouragement, we did post some and received sweet comments from old KAM families.  Consider these service acts in your honor.  Many of them would not have been done, if it weren't for the push we felt to meet our goal of doing all of them for your family service.

We have not given to the orphanage for 2 years.  This year Light the World suggested donating to a charity.  We felt prompted to send $100 to the orphanage director.  We know from Jonathan that, although they have received help from others in previous years, ours was the only donations or money they received this year. Jonathan wrote "Let me tell you that our Christmas was great, sweet and amazing.  All children said thank you very much couple Gates... You are the only one among millions we love."

We did our Hero Highlight on Stan Houghton... the contractor and our room mate for when we were Temple missionaries.

This is a little boy named Gates who lives in Kinshasa.  His Mom and Dad were close to us.  They were very good to us and had us act as their parents at their wedding.  This Light the World prompt was to pay it backwards.  He was terribly burned this year.  We felt inspired that they needed money.  We sent them some for Christmas and their response was very grateful. 

 On the Shining Star day... to choose a friend who had been a good influence in our life, Dad called Brent Allen, Lyndon McKay and Gary Cox and thanked them for being a life time friend!

 

We contacted a local nursing home.  I asked what we could do for them to bring holiday cheer to the residents, she asked what we would like to do.  I told her we would like to bring over a dozen children to carol at each of the doors, like we have done in the past, but that we knew that was not possible.  I asked if we could bring over some poinsetas for a few individual rooms. 

When I dropped off 4 big beautiful poinsettas, the staff were touched and promised me they would go to residents who didn't have family in town and were lonely.  I was told they would be thrilled to have someone think of them.

On Peace on Earth Day, I posted this photo as my favorite photo of Christ.

For showing appreciation for health-care workers, we sent Dana and her good husband a gift card and a message of thanks.  Caleb is a doctor and works in the emergency room at the hospital and putting in long, long hours.  Dana is supporting him from home.

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For honoring our parents, I compiled my Dad's 6 page history for the Bodell Family Kids book of stories.

  

For our social sing challenge, Dad rose to the occasion and put together a great sing along.  He invited the Hocks and Johnsons, led much of the music, and assigned others as guest choristers. It was a very special evening.

There are many others that we haven't mentioned, but we will end by telling you about the night of December 23.  We invited the missionaries to carol to our 6 neighbors.  One of them is Indian.  It was a delightful night singing to these families and introducing them to our darling missionary who speaks Hindi.  It was a huge step to letting them know more about us and that the church is available to everyone!  

Thanks again Dittbrenners.  Through your example we were able to Light the World.  We love you!

To learn, to read, to love

 To the Gates Family from the Partridges

In early November Tyler and I had just had our son Jack. I was sitting in the hospital when we found out who we would have for season of service. Tyler was at work and we wondered what we could do in honor of this wonderful family. I made jokes that Tyler could bump up a students grade, that didn't happen don't worry every student got what they earned and deserved. But as I was pregnant I read an article about a charity, and when I was trying to figure out what to do I knew we should donate to this charity in the Gates family name. 

The charity we donated to was the Imagination Library. What they do is they send books to a child every month for the first 5 YEARS of their life. We were able to donate a years worth of books for a child to receive. Who this child is we don't know but the program is run in many countries including the US, the UK, Ireland, Canada, and Australia.  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!