To Ashley, From Ashville

When I found out I received Ashley, I must admit I laughed a little. The first thing that came to my mind was how the Johnson's use paper plates and plastic utensils for almost every meal (Sorry that I'm making you cringe Ashley). I had absolutely no idea how I was going to find something that was 180 degrees from how we operated. 

Then one day I was trying to teach my boys about the value of money. They do not understand how items compare to the currency that we all work so hard to receive. Cole is so cute with his simple thinking. One day we were out getting groceries and looking at our list comparing it to our budget. Cole interrupts us and says, "You can use my money mommy." There was another time that Cole was wanting something and Brighton said, "I'll buy that for you!" Not one of them knew the value of what they were talking about.
So, thanks to Charise's morning Coke habit, we had a lot of aluminum cans.........BINGO! I explained to the boys, and Savanna (being persistent to be included), about how we should be turning in our cans. They both said, "WHAT?" I taught them how we take our cans into a recycling center and then the cans are taken different places to be used again. Again, with their simple minds, they asked why someone would want to use our cans. After a cute daddy moment, I explained how they melt the metal down and make more cans, jewelry, or anything that is aluminum........(the light bulb goes on)....That is it! I found out what I am going to do for Ashley.
The boys and I, and again Savannah (wanting to help), flattened the cans so that we can take them to be recycled. By the way, when I was younger, I remembered getting paid a whole lot more than we did now.

We were proud of what we did, but it didn't seem fulfilling when we RECEIVED money from our service. So after watching Charise trying to be like Ashley, (i.e. using fresh herbs, organic milk, and reusable grocery bags) I went looking for something that preserved the earth.
I found an organization in Ashville, NC that just started last April that was exactly what I was looking for. It is called Mother Earth Produce and Local Edibles, http://motherearthproduce.com. They bring together local farmers and buyers to market their crops. It is family owned and operated. Most of the farms are ran just by couples. They focus in land erosion through crops and eliminate pesticides by being organically grown. These local products are then brought into the marketplace. This place is PERFECT!
They money that we got for our cans is now handed over to the great efforts of these family farms working together for a common goal. Even though it wasn't a lot, I think the boys realized that it is every one's duty to do their part to preserve what Heavenly Father has given to us. So what started as a lesson of monetary transactions, turned into participation of supporting local businesses and protecting what has been given to us. Thank you Ashley for being that person that always makes me think of how I am living.
I love you, Bill (the drinking roller skater)

Light up the Neighborhood!

I really wanted to make my service for Wayne special. I struggled to find the best service for him. I talked to Amy and Darcy for ideas.

Since Darcy isn't an official part of our service exchange, I decided to make her my deputy in serving her dad. While talking to her in early December, she mentioned that they had not yet gotten their Christmas tree because Wayne had been so busy with work and out of town.

A few days earlier, my next door neighbor, Sue, had mentioned how bummed she was that she hadn't had time to put Christmas lights on her house because she had been so busy with work and out of town. I realized that since I could not go help the Dittbrenners decorate for Christmas, I could help my neighbor.

Sue really loves having lights on the house especially for her young daughter, Sarah, who is a year older than Leland. Sue and Sarah have done many wonderful acts of service for our family, such as defending Leland from a bully on the bus or cooking dinner for us after Eddie's birth.

I decided I wanted to figure out a way to decorate their house as a surprise. I devised a plan with Sue's friend, Julie, that she would get me the Christmas lights and keep Sue away from the house in order for me to put the lights up. Julie brought over all the lights and let me know that at 2:00 p.m. that afternoon they had an appointment to get Christmas pictures taken.

The Hocks were visiting, so I enlisted their help, too. We also got Chuck to take the day off work. Lani watched the babies in the house while Hock and Chuck helped me get the lights up.

(Disclaimer: I had great pictures. Hock even took them. But my crazy new phone deleted them all and I can only find the one below. Bummer.)

At 1:55pm, her car was gone, so I thought we were good to start a few minutes early. But just as we got the ladders up on the side of the house, up rolls Sue! The surprise was ruined. She was coming home really quick to change before her pictures and she was running late. We quickly told her what we were doing and she was so grateful. She left for her pictures and we got to work. It was too bad the surprise didn't totally work out, but it was nice not to be rushed to finish in an hour.

We strung icicle lights along the front of the house and snowflake lights in one of her trees. We had some extra timers, so we set up her lights to an automatic timer so that she wouldn't have to remember to plug/unplug them each night.

While Chuck had the ladders out he decided to get up on the roof and clean out her rain gutters too. There was pine needles galore in the gutters, even though she cut down most of her pine trees a few years ago.

It was fun to help spread some Christmas joy. Sue was extremely grateful for our family service exchange.

Wayne, I know that your family is so grateful for how hard you work even if it takes you away from them for an extended time.

I had challenged Darcy to find a way to serve her dad. After they got their tree, she took on the responsibility of ensuring that it was decorated with lights and ornaments... All 17 feet of it! I am sure that was a HUGE task!

To the Young Mother

What has happened in Tiffany's life this year? New baby, new house, husband works crazy hours, her family has slowly moved farther away. 

I wish that I could have lived close to you this last year Tiffany. I would have watched Brooklyn while you packed to move or went to doctor's appointments. I would have brought you food when you were tired and 8 months pregnant. I would have hung out at the park with you to chat. Since I could not do those things for you, I found someone close by me that I could serve and help through some of those transitions in life.

I found a friend here in VA who was going through some of the same changes this year. She has moved twice in the last few months, has a 2 1/2 year old, and just had a new baby this month.

When she first moved into the ward earlier this year, I invited her to outings and befriended her... giving advice on preschools and home buying. I had her son over for a play date with Charly, while she moved the first time to their temporary home while they continued the home buying search. Her little boy even has soft curls just like Brooklyn. I was supposed to watch her son the day they closed on their house, but it was rescheduled and then I was unavailable for the new closing date.

So many people think to bring women food right after having a baby, but I like to take food when they are 8 or 9 months pregnant. Near the end of pregnancy, you are so tired and just burnt out. It would be nice to not have to cook. So, I took this friend a meal one night making 2 dishes from that cookbook you gave me when you were in Richmond.

Every time I would serve my friend, or even see her, I would think of Tiffany and how much I wish we could live closer together. One day, when we don't have the entire United States between us, I will bring you dinner when you are feeling worn out or plan play dates with Brooklyn so you can run errands. But for now I will serve those young mothers around me and swap parenting tips with you via Facebook.

My darling little sister Ashley, I ADORE you!!

Note: A sibling sitting next to me while I am typing this says I am way too long winded... so for those of you who want, just skip to the end.

Oh my darling little sister Ashley,

I honestly believe you are one of the greatest blessings in my life. The gifts of joy and womanhood are things that I will always honor and cherish about you. I remember the first time I met you, thinking what an amazing girl you were. Now that you are a mother, and a wife to my little brother... well, I just really struggle to describe the honor it is to have a relationship with you.

When I was given your name, I was thrilled. I knew that my gift of service was going to be to try to become more like you. I felt like by trying to live more like you, that I might be able to have my life serve others as yours does every day.

The first few steps were easy. First off, I had already made a goal to use ONLY (and I do mean ONLY) the recycled shopping bags from now on. I loved how you did it, and made it seem like such an easy thing to do. You acted as if, "Well duh, if it is better for the planet, better for others, why would I not do it." You gave it a selfish/unselfish type of feel. Like... if you try to do this one little thing, well that is a very small, unselfish change you could make in your life. I am happy to report that I have been GREAT at this. I would give myself a 95%. I will go into more details on this on my personal blog.

Next, I wanted to serve my children by taking the time to learn to cook healthier. I loved visiting you and having you make us such yummy meals that were REALLY healthy, but also DELICIOUS!

These might seem like dumb, well duh, thoughts... but I never realized how simple and easy it would be to take the time to plan, prep and cook healthier meals. I now serve only the high protein, whole grain pasta. It is yum and although it costs a little more, it is so much better for my family. I have added a lot of fresh vegetables to my meals. I used to use a lot of canned, easy foods, but now I have really learned to enjoy preparing fresher, healthier alternatives. (Grilled baby bell peppers... who would have thought how delicious, healthy and easy they are!)

I had noticed that a couple of my girlfriends were really starting to be catty about others. In thinking of you, I thought, I wonder how Ashley handles this? I have gone back to what I learned back when I was in Young Woman's. When one starts to "talk"about another girlfriend, I just try to point out that other friend's good points. It just makes me feel like I am trying to be a better friend.

I wanted to do a true "gift" to someone. Something "blog worthy". I feel like in changing my way of thinking, I have, in a small start, changed the person I want to be. But what is really "blog worthy" about that?

I sent out an email to all the mom's in my ward that have kids in primary. I told them I was newer to the ward, but that I would love to be their "drop off spot" for their kids when they go to the temple. I have teasingly done a couple of reminders, but I still have not gotten any takers. (I know!!! I would totally take advantage of the offer if someone gave it to me!) However, in truly trying to do this, I have had three moms email me and ask if there was any way I could help them with their kids, even though they were not going to the temple.

One was a mom that needed help the first couple of days, while she went back to work and was figuring out a childcare arrangement. The next was a mom that is brand new to our ward, and was just put on bed rest at the 6 month mark of her pregnancy. Her 3 year old Sophie was really wanting to play so she emailed me to ask if I could help one day. I immediately called her and said, "Yes! I am totally open the next two weeks. We will pick her up at 8am and you can tell us what time each night to bring her home.

The third is another new mom who I ADORE! She just had her fourth baby in October, and her oldest is 6. They moved here in September and her husband works two weeks out of the month on the East Coast, so she is alone with these kids a lot!

The yucky flu with high fevers and upchuck has been going through her family for the past month. It keeps dragging on. I have called her every time I have been to the grocery store in the past month and a half, and I always ask her what I can get for her. She always says nothing... so I have changed what I ask. Now I just call her and say, I am getting milk for you... Non-fat or whole? Bread, Wheat or White? Candy or fruits and veggies? What are you in the mood for?"

She used to say nothing, but after a couple of deliveries of what I like best, and I keep telling her, "I'm bringing it over to you anyway... Do you want me to choose for you, or do you want to give requests?" So now she sweetly tells me what might help her out in her life. She is a joy to serve.

Okay, so I am totally bawling while typing this. I think that is why I have procrastinated all day. I knew that I would feel your sweet spirit while thinking of you and in trying to tell you how much I love you. I know my sisters tease me about "Ashley Whoo Hoo" but seriously, you are Ashley Whoo Hoo to me. If I haven't said it five times already, Ashley, I adore you!

I remember the day you were sealed to Chuck in the temple. It was a CRAZY day... and I just remember thinking, "This girl is amazing, and she deserves ALL the blessings of heaven. I hope Heavenly Father has some wonderful blessings ahead of her in her life." I often wonder what makes you the woman you are. Is it your parents? Your upbringing?

Oh Ashley, my sweet little sister. I am so in love with you. It is an honor and a joy to be your big sister. You make me want to be a better mother, a better sister, a better friend. But most of all, a better daughter of God, because then I might truly be more like you in all ways.

Yeah, I don't really have a picture that goes along with this post... but this random shot is of me trying to make memories being a good mom. Amy says we have to have a picture with our post. Is that part of the rules? :)

To Hock From Ashley

Last year Hock did a great job choosing a service for me. I was excited to have him this year. A few things came to mind over the few months that I knew I would be serving Hock for Christmas.

We stopped by the Little League Museum on our way to New York in November, but since it was closed, we could not go inside. What service could I really do there anyway? But, I still wanted to take a picture, so Hock knew I was thinking about him.

Little League Baseball Museum - Williamsport, PA

I cheered for the San Francisco Giants (and even wore a Giants hat) during the World Series. I was so excited for the Hocks when they won.

Yelling at the Giants for not catching a fly ball.

I chose to really serve in 2 ways for him.

1) I signed up to be a merit badge counselor for cooking (and 2 other things I can't remember) and I had Chuck sign up, too. I actually thought this would be a great way to serve Michael even before he sent out his list with this as a suggestion. They haven't needed us yet, but I will let you know when they do.

2) I have fed and served the missionaries more often. I am trying to have them over for dinner at least once a month (we used to only feed them about once every 4 months) and have done so the last 2 months. Serving in YW, I rarely get a chance to look at the meal calendar for the missionaries, so I try to offer to feed them dinner whenever I can. On the 2 occasions these last 2 months, it was with less than 24 hours notice that they were at our house eating dinner.

Last week, the sisters missionaries needed a ride home from a P-day activity 20 miles away. They did not want to have to use their miles in order to go, so I packed up my girls and picked them up and brought them home. Since they did not have a dinner appointment that night, I dropped them off at their house at 5:45pm, ran to the grocery store, then they were at our house eating dinner at 6:45pm.

Me, Sis. Jacob, and Sis. Davis

I love the spirit that the missionaries bring into our home. It's wonderful for my girls to see those sisters serving the Lord.

Michael, thanks for being a wonderful example of service to the scouts and to the missionaries. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Amy

What pressure to have Amy, the one who came up with this whole idea! Can I just say how wonderful and stress free that this "gift-giving" was. It was wonderful to focus on what service for others that I could do, instead of material things, waiting in lines, fighting crowds, and spending money. I feel truly blessed to be a member of this family.

Before we decided to do this service gift exchange, I began looking for winter coats for my girls. I also wanted to get coats for Amy's kids, knowing that this was the first year back in real winter weather. I started by asking my sisters if they had any had-me-down coats. Then I mentioned it to my mom whose ward Relief Society was having a clothing swap enrichment night. I also asked a few friends around here if they had coats they had grown out of. In the midst of this, we decided to do the service exchange and I was assigned Amy. It was perfect!

Rather than just send Amy the coats we found, Chuck and I decided to work together to exercise some faith. I called my Relief Society President and asked if there was somebody in the ward who had young kids, whose family had a difficult economic year, and who needed some warm coats. She told me about a family with 2 young boys and only one coat between the 2 of them. They would take turns wearing the coat to school. We began praying that if we helped this family, somebody would help the Dittbrenners in Colorado. I was able to find a coat for the younger son to have his own. We never met the family; just simply asking the RS President to pass the coat on to them for me.

I just kept feeling that this was not enough, I wanted to do something for AMY. So I decided to send a box of warm clothes for her and her girls. I went through my boxes and found heavy coats, light jackets, sweaters, hats and scarves to send to her family. Colorado is much, much colder than Virginia and I hope that they can use some of what I sent.

I realized that I have collected a lot of things I do not need and I hope that you all enjoy them. Before we shipped them, we took this picture of me wearing some of the items I sent to them.

another reason

(Note: this will post on the blog next to my original post)
I forgot to tell a story I remember about Amy and why the coats service was what I wanted to do for her. I can't remember who might remember or even know this story.

Back when Chuck and I were sealed in the Washington, DC Temple in Feb of 2005, the Gates sisters (except Tiff) and parents came to the East Coast to share in this special time for us. We did some sightseeing in DC and Annapolis, MD over the weekend.

Amy had mentioned that she had purposely brought old sweaters on the trip, so that she could give them to any homeless people that may need them. I remember driving around downtown DC one very cold winter evening with Amy in our car. She suddenly asked Chuck to pull over the car as she rolled down the window and motioned for a homeless man to approach the car. She took off her sweater (she did have a shirt on under it) and handed it to him, then asked if we had any food in the car that we could also give. We also gave him a box of granola bars.

I remember being overwhelmed with the selfless love that Amy had for this stranger that was in need and she literally gave him the shirt off her back. She is a wonderful example of showing service and I am extremely thankful for that example. I know that her family is being blessed by others' selfless love during this trial in their lives because of her Christlike example.

Merry Christmas Ashley!

I was excited to find out that I got Ashley. Even though I have probably seen her the least out of all the family, I have always had a special place for Ashley in my heart. When Lani and I were dating, I came out for Ryan and Tiff's wedding, and as most of you know when I was dating Lani I hadn't really reached the same level of progression that Lani had. She was working on her masters degree, and I wasn't close to finishing my undergraduate degree, not only that I was only going to school part time, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

When I came out for the wedding I was really self conscientious because I didn't feel worthy of Lani at all. I remember thinking "these people have got to be just waiting for her to dump me and so she can find someone more worthy of her". I felt this stress around the whole family, but when I met Ashley she made me feel really comfortable. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I remember feeling so relieved because she seemed to almost understand how I felt (I never told her anything that would make her know how I felt). I'll always love Ashley for that, and she will always hold a special place in my heart for how she put me at ease when we first met.

Upon finding out my assignment, I went back to look at what Ashley suggested for service. First, donate your hair. I sat back and imagined growing my hair out 10 inches. I thought back to a couple years ago when I grew my hair out a bit...I then thought how in the world am I going to look like professional MBA student with long hair? I sat back and remembered....Upon recollection, I recalled I didn't think the Pat Riley meets Larry Bird rat tail was very becoming on me. After about 2 minutes of these pictures running through my head I decided that growing out my hair would not be my best option.

I then moved to the next thing on Ashley's list...Make blankets for the Children's Hospital. This seemed to have more potential. I did some research on the Childrens hospitals in Spokane to find out what they might need.
I looked at several different places that offer help to kids like the Boys and Girls Club, and a couple of different children's hospitals. I was a little frustrated because most of the places I looked at only gave the option of a cash donation. I finally found one I liked, Holy Cross Children's Hospital in Spokane, and called to find out if I could offer a non-cash donation.
They had a wish list of items requested by kids at the hospital. So off we went.

Lani and Houston and I headed off to our friendly neighborhood dollar store to load up on presents that the children had requested. We stocked up on play dough, crayons, flash cards, and coloring books. They even had a 3-D Pirates coloring book!

As I was walking through the hospital with Lani, and Houston, I reflected a bit on how cool it is that all of us are doing something to make the world better at Christmas this year. I thought about how neat it is that one day I will be able to show Houston this picture of us at the hospital and tell him about what we were doing and how it helped other kids not much older than him. I decided that I want my own little branch of the Gates family to do something like this every year and let our kids help choose a way to serve and then do it.

I'm really glad we decided to do this this year instead of presents. I'm a guy who has always loved opening presents on Christmas morning but I can honestly say that I am anticipating seeing what everyone did for their service much more than I would be to open gifts. I know that the gift I gave is a little thing, but I could tell it meant a lot to the people we did it for. I'm grateful that we did this this year.

So Merry Christmas Ashley!